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| The look of awfulness is REAL. I was hating life at that moment. |
I was STILL having intestinal issues, and I still am, but I feel like there's some slight improvement...maybe. But all week, I felt like I was basically starving myself unintentionally since it literally seemed like I was digesting nothing (Really trying not to be TMI here haha). Race morning. Same. I was drained and pretty dehydrated no matter how much water I tried to drink. I'm actually thinking I didn't lose weight because my body thought it was starving itself and held onto the fat as if in some sort of survival mode. I didn't look good all week. You can see it in my face in the photos; I look old and tired. I did finally get some new probiotics on Friday afternoon, but I still don't know if it's helping. But like I said, I think it could be improving, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Whatever it is, though, it's just going to have to run its course. I have no other options. The crazy part is that I had a similar issue going on at the 2014 National Snowshoe Race, only that was my fault for juicing too many beets the night before. I don't think I need to elaborate on that at all, but let's just say I felt super sick during that race and actually had to leave before any of the men finished their race because of my "issues". Hahaha.
I still managed to hit 60 miles this week, but only because I had that outside pressure. There's no way I would have otherwise. I would have run maybe 3 miles on Thursday instead of 8 and then taken a possible wallowing-in-self-pity zero day on Sunday. Haha. But I got it done. 3 treadmill runs, one of which was supposed to be a trail run in Mass, but noooooo, Asshole Nor'easter had to ruin things. One actual solid (failed workout/long) road run, one snow-covered dirt road run, one mix of snowmobile trail and road run and the most brutal snowshoe run I've ever done. What a weird running week. Haha. Got the elevation up at least, though! 3,652ft. I need to be doing more of that soon on mountains...if it would stop snowing. Also got in 3 days of ab work and one upper body and ab workout to make 4 days of an effort. Haha.
Monday, March 5, 2018- Got up early for 3 easy miles on the treadmill. 24:06. 8:02 avg pace. I was pretty beat from the race the day before and just tired in general. Walked into a typical Monday which is like opening a bunch of presents except these presents suck...
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| Yes, that's blood. Found this on the bench seat in our ambulance. |
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| Lazy pigs |
Got in 10 minutes of abs that evening. Nothing really going on at work today. Few calls. Slept all night.
John left that morning for his 3-day school trip to Burlington, VT. I was so jealous! Haha. I was kind of bummed there was only one photo from the trip, but I was glad John was in it. It was his first trip away with anyone other than family. He had a great time. I honestly feel so emotional over this amazing experience he's getting with this school.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018- Finally a beautiful day!! Sunny, blue skies. Made my long/workout run so much better. Today's running agenda was 15 miles with an easy 4 miles, 3 miles at marathon pace (MP), 1 mile easy, 3 miles at MP and then 4 miles easy to finish. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the route I chose because somehow I managed to pick a route on 113 in Sandwich that literally had the two 3-mile MP parts starting and ending on HUGE ass hills. The rest was mostly flat, and only the 3-mile sections were on crazy hills. Oops. That ended up making this run a FAIL. Well, not totally because the effort was all there, and I'm confident that on a route with less long, steep climbs I would have hit MP easily. I'd run about half of these hills already, but for some reason, I didn't remember how steep they were. Of course that means good downhills, too, but they didn't quite make up for the slowness on the long climbs.
I didn't feel very good in the first 4 miles and almost turned around at that point, but I decided to keep going and get through it. The biggest question in my head at this point was, "What is my marathon pace?!" I had no idea! I know I want to run a sub-3 at VCM, but like I said before, I don't know how far under 3 hours I'll be up for. So I decided to take both of my sub-3 marathons' average pace and shoot for something in the middle. I picked 6:45 as a goal. I knew within about 1/2 a mile this wasn't happening. Haha. But it was ok. I actually felt good now and just did what I could manage in effort. 6:52, 7:03, 6:56. Not bad at all considering. Ran a super easy mile into the center of Sandwich then turned around dreading the fact I had to do that all over again and knowing that it would be even harder the other direction. Haha. 7:01, 7:22, 6:56. The middle mile was a VERY steep hill. This mile would have been well over 8 minutes, if not close to 9, if I hadn't had the downhill after it. I was thankful for the last 4 miles of easy running back to my car. 1:52:23. 7:29 avg pace. 706ft of elevation gain.
It was a strange day since John was gone on his trip. I kept thinking it was Thursday and had to remind myself that I had to work the next day. I decided to take advantage of the free time and headed down to Dover for a long overdue massage with Tina Carr. Normally, my legs and glutes are my biggest complaints, but today it was my neck, shoulders and back. I had built up so much tension that by the time I walked out of there, I felt I'd lost 5lbs. Haha. These sessions always double as therapy sessions, as well, since Tina and I have a lot of life issues in common. We're able to vent and empathize with each other so it's nice. I think she might be the only person I've met who actually "gets" it, seriously. Just talking to her and listening to her stories really helped open my eyes to some things going on in my life. Things I would normally not address with myself or actually see it until it was pointed out. 90 minutes well spent for sure! I just wish I could afford to see Tina more often. She's the best!
I originally planned to join the Six03 Dover Pub Run after this, but I really didn't want to run after my massage so I opted instead to drive down to Earth Eagle Brewings in Portsmouth for a beer release. Surprise! Surprise! Right? Haha. Garrison City Beerworks, Southern Maine Brewing and Earth Eagle had collaborated on a beer honoring the Dude from the Big Lebowski and his favorite drink, the white russian. I HAD to try this, and I actually could!! I was there early, but the place was packed. Some nice person offered me her seat at the bar which made my being alone way less awkward. I appreciated it. I was able to get some cans and had a pour. It was actually REALLY good. Lately when I'm out alone, I just keep to myself, but a guy who was also there alone ended up at the bar the next to me after it was vacated. I felt bad because he kept trying to strike up a conversation with me, but I took one look at him and realized there was no way he was over 25, if even much over 21! It was so dark in there and with my hat on, I probably didn't look as old as I am. I was still nice to him when he talked to me, but didn't try to keep the conversation going. I was doing him a huge favor. Haha. Hopefully, some younger woman took over my seat when I left.
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| I love the charm of Portsmouth! |
Wednesday, March 7, 2018- 4 miles on the treadmill before work. Very easy in 31:51. 7:58 avg pace. Had to work with the new girl again. Other than a few issues I'd like to address with her, everything actually went fine; she's smart and has the will to learn. Now that I can work on my blog post on Mondays in Tamworth, I'm able to finish up much earlier with it on Wednesdays. Yay! This gave me time to take a walk on the trail out back and bid farewell to dirt for awhile, since a Nor'easter was moving in by the afternoon. I walked 1.5 miles. We got a 911 shortly after I finished, and the snowfall began! Bye, bye, dirt! :(
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| During my walk. That coat screams blue collar! Haha. |
Thursday, March 8, 2018- Oh the dread of going home and seeing the 18 inches of snow I was going to have to shovel. Ugh. It's not so bad if you can shovel the snow over the course of the storm, but when I started trying to move all 18in of heavy, wet snow, I knew I was in for a very long morning. And it did not disappoint. Even before the shoveling, the shit began with a phone conversation with Bryan. He still has these ideas of what I think that are completely wrong. "It makes you feel good knowing I'm a crazy person, doesn't it?" My response, "No. It actually stresses me the fuck out!" He thinks I take pleasure in his faults, like it makes me feel better about myself or something? Oh! Look at me! I'm not crazy! I deserve a medal. If he only knew that plenty of people think I'M crazy, too. Haha
After that the shoveling began. This isn't just pushing snow out of the way; this is also lifting what I've pushed up and over the already existing snow banks. This takes a lot of upper body and core strength, as well as my legs since I have to use one leg to assist in lifting it. I was exhausted by a quarter of the way in. I had to take breaks just sitting on the shovel. After the first 2 hours, I took a 30 minute beer break then went back out for another 2 hours. 4 hours total shoveling. I was completely exhausted, and it looked like a crappy shoveling job. I just didn't have the strength to do it better.
I don't know how I had the energy, but I managed to get right on the treadmill as soon as I was done shoveling. It was a very slow 8 miles in 1:04:09. 8:01 avg pace. Needless to say, I had to rest for awhile after my shower. 4 hours of a full body workout is not something I'm used to. Haha.
I took Phoenix out later. I broke trail with my big snowshoes, but Phoenix still kept going ahead and ending up in a snow hole. Haha.
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| Although annoying, it makes my house look pretty. |
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| A shower did a girl some good! Haha. |
John came home later and I finally got to hear about his trip to Burlington. He had had a great time which I loved hearing. The Montshire Museum was his favorite place that they visited, and from what he told me, I now want to go there, too. They also visited the Perkins Geology Museum and the aquarium. They went to Get Air Trampoline Park AND the movies. Plus their Air B&B was right on Battery Park. I also like that they were only allowed a very short time to use their phones for the whole 3 days. He didn't mind that at all either.
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The snow cover would force me to keep it slow, but when it came down to it, I don't think I needed any help in slowing down. Haha. I was pretty tired for this one. I wore microspikes but was surprised to find some portions of Loring Hill Rd to be completely bare already. I guess the warmer temps are melting the snow quickly. This was probably the slowest run I've ever done on these roads, and it was still beating me up. I stopped to take off my gloves and took a few pics. When I looked at it later, I realized that I look like total shit. I think I even said, "Oh my god," out loud when I saw it. EEK. I looked like I felt, too. Ugh. I knew Saturday wasn't going to go well...especially with 40 inches of fresh snow that fell at the race site.
Miscalculated my turnaround point and ended up with 8.8 miles instead of 8. Not a big deal really, but I was ready to stop at 8. Haha. 1:15:23. 8:33 avg pace. 728ft of elevation gain.
Of course, John was at home when I got there since Bryan couldn't tell him he had to stay with him. John thought he was free to play video games all day now, but haha, it was time for me to be the bad guy for real. :) I took him XC skiing! I was so looking forward to the freshly groomed trail at Believe in Books. John turned out to be into it and I wasn't the bad guy after all. He loves skiing groomed trails. This place has a book that you read as you go along the trail, and the book was SO ODD. Not only was it creepy and dark, it also had grammatical errors and misspellings on every page. Haha. It also pretty much copied Disney princess fairy tales. We missed the section with the title page, and by the time we were on our way back, people were out there taking that story down and putting up a different one, but I was able to find it on Vimeo! Rapunzel and the Seven Dwarfs, if anyone is bored enough. Haha. So anyway, skiing was fun and going well at first until all of a sudden the snow started sticking to my skis. I had to stop to scrape it every 5 minutes at first and then it was every single step! I was so bummed out. This has happened before, but I've never had to take off my skis and walk all the way back. I did today. I'm sure there's some sort of specific ski wax for this so I have to look it up. The wax I have is definitely the wrong one. We did 2.7 miles total. I probably walked about 1/4 of it.
I was definitely tired when we finished and totally dreaded the early morning wake up and drive. I had registered John for the Kids 1K snowshoe race, but when I realized I'd have to get up at 3:30am, I said screw that. An extra hour of sleep was definitely a better choice. The more rest the better. I had a bad feeling about the race all day and night. I didn't want to do it, but it cost me A LOT of money with the USSSA membership fee on top of the registration fee. If it wasn't Tim Van Orden's race, I would have skipped it still, though. I just knew it was going to be bad. I should have listened to my gut.
Saturday, March 10, 2018- We left at 5:30am which I figured would be plenty of time to get there and not rush since 1.5 hours is usually plenty. The drive wasn't bad even though we started to hit snow as we drove out of Brattleboro. This snow would last the ENTIRE time we were there and only got heavier. No problems driving, though. Got there at the time I planned. But somehow, I ended up completely rushed and stressed out. I think it must have been the time I spent getting deep cleats put on my Dion Snowshoes because by the time that was done, I felt like I had to drop my stuff in the lodge and then rush back to the car to get John and take the dogs out. John was pretty quick about getting out of the car, and I was able to snag him the ONLY empty seat in the lodge. I had forgotten just how terribly crowded that room gets. No exaggeration that I didn't have room to bend down to change my shoes. It was that tight. I had to move to someone else's seat for a minute just to do that. Finally, I was ready for a warmup. I didn't know where to go since the Citizens 5k was using the course and the main road was a definite no; way too dangerous. I decided to just snowshoe run on a barely broken trail that I found at the end of the parking lot. I brought Chill along. I only had time for 1 mile since I was running through powder and it took over 13 minutes.
By the time I was back at the lodge and ready to strip down to my Six03 nordic suit (which I will NEVER wear again, by the way), I only had 10 minutes to the start. It was freezing, windy and snowing outside so I had to run around to stay warm. I came upon a single track section that I figured had to be part of the course; I just had no idea when we'd run it! But oh my god. It had been broken into a trench, but a trench of powder. This was my first taste of the pain we were about to endure. If I only knew just how hard this race was going to be. Omg. Not to mention we were racing before the men so WE were the ones packing down the trail.
I got back to the start and lined up with the few running friends I knew there: Amy Rusiecki, Sarah Canney, Jamie Woolsey, Amber Ferreira and Jennifer Vandongen. I decided to copy Sarah and Amber by tucking the nordic suit top into the pants when I realized they were onto something. Otherwise, snow would have been flying up it onto my bare skin. Although it made me look even more hideous in that nordic suit, it ended up being the right choice. I would have had numb, red skin within the first mile if I hadn't. The only other person I recognized was Jennifer Chaudoir since I talked to her some at World's last year. Otherwise, it was all people I didn't know. This was a huge change from 2014 when we had double the amount of racers, and I knew a lot of people there. The start was wide so I lined up reluctantly on the line in between Amy and Jamie. Tim gave a brief starting announcement and then started the race. He said something funny as you can see how we're all laughing in the start pic, but I can't remember what it was. Haha.
Within a few steps I lost my balance in the soft snow and almost fell into Amy. Haha. I tried to get ahead of most of the pack but didn't even try to go out with the women in front. Based on the footing at the start, I knew this was going to be a LONG race. The only problem with hanging back was all of the snow being kicked in our faces in addition to the falling snow. It was hard to see. The pack was a little tight as we rounded the first section and one girl went down and almost took Amy with her. I was right behind them so I had to stop, but it was quick. Amy immediately helped the girl to her feet and we were running again. Fortunately with this climb we spread out pretty quickly. There was a downhill back to the finish area and then we were off into no man's land uphill for the next 4K. I was struggling bad already. I had no power whatsoever in that soft snow and it was all uneven with only snowshoe prints to follow. Nothing was packed down or solid for this ENTIRE race, and that is no exaggeration. Not a bit. It was all soft and uneven on the wide parts and deep, fresh powder on the single track. I was already tired when we hit the 1st mile. I felt so slow and heavy and everyone ahead was pulling away quickly. I had NOTHING. My run is more of a shuffle and without any real snowshoe running/racing this winter, I was way out of practice. I was stumbling and didn't feel confident on my feet at all. It was terrible. I seriously contemplated dropping out at this point, but I told myself to just keep going that maybe I would have a better race after this 4K climb. I got passed on the climb by one woman with whom I would stay close to for awhile before she was gone. I had two right on my tail for the rest of the way. Before we ever hit the top, I was already feeling completely defeated and upset with the way it was going.
I was able to gap the two behind me a little bit once we hit the top and started on the long winding powder single track. It was crazy. Seriously can't even describe it other than constant ups and downs and twisting and almost falling around every turn. My snowshoes were constantly almost getting stuck in the deep snow. One of them did at one point, and I had to actually stop for a second to get it out. I had no idea where I was for all this. It just seemed to go on forever. The snow falling only got heavier along the way. One woman caught up with me as I was catching up with Amy so the 3 of us ended up together pretty much until the end.
We finally came back down into civilization with the same switchbacks as 2014 down past the finish, and remembering that, I knew we would be going back up, but I was expecting something like 2014. Oh no. Not even close. This was just pure evil. We turned onto a steep single track that went up and around for half a mile before coming back through the finish area again. At this point, all fingers on both hands had gone completely numb; I was wearing a pair of thicker neoprene Nathan gloves with a mitten cover flap over them thinking this would be warm enough, but my entire body was soaking wet from all the snow and nothing could keep my hands warm enough.
I had no idea this next section was going to happen. I thought this would just be a short up and down before coming back to the finish, but no, this was more twisting, powder single track for about .7 miles before it brought us by the finish again. Fortunately, I had done that short warm up before the race, so I knew weren't done. We hadn't hit that single track yet. Just as I was passing the finish, the men's race started next to me so I knew I was at 1.5 hours so far on the course. I entered the last single track and realized this young girl had caught up to me. She had been nowhere in sight on the last single track so she must have pushed it while were out in the open part. No way was I getting passed in the last .4 of this race. Fortunately, I was better on this single track than she was, but once we came out and rounded the corner for the uphill to the finish, she was on me instantly. I didn't think I had any kick in me at all, but I fucking did today, and I crossed the finish line just barely ahead of her in 10th place. 6.7 miles on the GPS which had to be no less than 7.5 with all of those tight turns. 1:34:21. A crazy 1,194ft of elevation gain. Full Saturday Results.
I was so upset with my finish immediately. 10th? 10th?! Are you kidding? Ugh. My disappointment was quickly overtaken by the realization that my fingers were really bad off. I actually ran back to the lodge, but unfortunately no snowshoes were allowed in there so I had to get them off beforehand. I honestly couldn't do it. I had zero feeling in my hands. Fortunately, some nordic skiers standing there immediately noticed my predicament and jumped in to help. Barry Auskern and Joannie Bernstein, whose names I would learn later after they reached out via FB later to check on me, were a lifesaver. Joannie struggled with my snowshoes due to the accumulation of snow that was now basically ice. Barry had me place my hands on his bare stomach in an attempt to warm them. I honestly couldn't have gotten my snowshoes off without their help. My next option was to risk being disqualified for walking into the lodge with my snowshoes on, but my hands were in agony, and I was just about to do it. Unfortunately, it still took Joannie a long time to get the snowshoes off so in the meantime, my soaking wet clothes sent me into mild hypothermia. Now, I've been cold before. With all of the thru-hiking I've done, I have had my fair share of shivering, but NEVER have I experienced shivering from actual hypothermia. By the time I got in the lodge I was in a state of severe, uncontrollable shivering. It was insane, but there was nothing I could do to get warm until I could get the feeling back in my hands. The woodstove did nothing so I went to the bathroom to run them under warm water. I accidentally got the water way too hot which resulted in every finger tip turning a dark blue as they rewarmed. Yikes!! I immediately cooled the water temp and continued to rewarm my hands through searing fucking pain. At one point I looked in the mirror and saw my eyes were bright red from the snow blowing into them the entire race. My face was also bright red from the snow sting. I was finally able to get the feeling back in my hands. Next step was getting on dry clothes. I could only talk to John briefly, but he was like, "Mom, you're shaking like crazy!" I was off to the bathroom where all the ladies were stripping down out of the wet clothes. No one cared; we were all just in a hurry to get warm. Due to my uncontrollable shaking I couldn't get my shoes untied and another racer jumped in to help. Man, I don't know what I would have done without the kindness of strangers. I was finally in dry clothes with my down puffy jacket on. I got back to John and put my bear coat on over that. Some woman walked over to offer me hot liquids, but I declined since I was already making my way to the food bar for coffee. Everyone was staring at me with concern since the shivering was just insane. I couldn't even hold my coffee and almost spilled the whole thing. I set it down, put a lid on it and a straw through the top. It was the only way I could drink it. Not ideal, but it worked. By the time I finished the coffee, I had stopped shivering. I was still really cold, but I was back to normal.
Unfortunately feeling normal also meant thinking normally again and the disappointment became overwhelming. I couldn't believe what had just happened. How could I have run so poorly?! This started a downward spiral for the rest of the day. Fortunately, the drive back down to Brattleboro was a bit of white knuckled driving with the snow and some idiot driving with their brakes and going a ridiculously slow speed. They almost caused an accident with those of us behind them having to hit our brakes. This kept my mind focused on that.
Once in town, we went right to Whetstone Station for lunch. I was able to put us on the waitlist before we got there so we didn't wait too long. Silly me pulled into the metered lot, thought it was Sunday (since we ate here last year on a Sunday after the snowshoe race), didn't pay the meter and ended up with a $10 parking ticket. Haha. Oops. Totally spaced that it was Saturday. Lunch with John was good even though he had his headphones in. Haha. We both got burgers. I was SO hungry and ate every bite. I had two really good beers. My spirits were lifted a bit by this point.
We left for home and drove through town. I pointed out our Dunkin' Donuts campsite from the night before the Green River Marathon. As soon as I looked in that parking lot, it triggered my downward spiral. All of a sudden remembering that night and how I was in tears because I couldn't afford a place for us to stay just triggered an emotional breakdown. Not to mention that within a mile of there, we passed a gas station that had once been the site of a happy moment in my life that has now gone to shit. I purposely stopped at the next one, but it didn't help. I ended up in full blown tears hating my horrible life for the entire stretch of road to Keene and beyond. It was a true moment of wallowing in self pity. It wasn't just the bad race; it was everything just piled on in my head. I don't know if everyone has those moments, but I certainly do, and this was one of the worst. Haha. I can laugh at myself now which is a good thing. The only thing I regret is not keeping it to myself since I shared how I was feeling with someone else who had no need to hear about my shit.
I finally calmed down for the rest of the drive, and it went fine. John played with Phoenix for awhile which kept my attention elsewhere in a good way. We weren't home too late. I got a shower and sunk into the couch with Phoenix the rest of the evening.
Sunday, March 11, 2018- I was woken up to the ding of a message which was nice, but I couldn't keep my eyes open after briefly responding, so I slept another hour and a half. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the time change making it feel so late. Plenty of time for the day, though. I was feeling a lot better and had my usual coffee by the kitchen window before it was time to venture out for my run. I was pretty beat, but, unfortunately, in order to hit 60 miles for the week, I had to get in 13.1 miles. I had fallen short 2 miles the day before due to the shortened warm up and no cool down. I was in quite a bit of pain in my high hamstring tendons, the same issue I've had for exactly a year now. I suspected then that this "injury" might be due to snowshoe racing, and after this weekend's race, I have even more evidence of this being the case. I have not been in pain in these tendons like this since this exact time last year after the Northeast Snowshoe Championship. They've been in chronic pain since but nothing like this...until now...a day after snowshoe racing. I may have just run my last snowshoe race ever.
Oh, oh! Another thing I noticed. By the way, I do still have plantar fasciitis but it's been mild and bearable for a long time...until this weekend. I ran both Friday's run and Saturday's race in my Hoka One One Speed Instincts and my PF was THROBBING. I had assumed my snow boots had started the PF a year ago, but when I went back over the time line, I noticed it started also shortly after I got the Speed Instincts and started wearing them regularly. I have no idea on the actual truth of either theory about the tendons or the Hokas, but the fact that these symptoms presented themselves with the same factors, I can't rule it out. Those Hokas went right into a bag of shoes to get rid of yesterday. Not wearing those ever again. As far as snowshoe racing goes, I'm sure I'll race again, but with this suspicion in the back of my mind.
So anyway, I was a hurting puppy and stupidly thought that if I ran on the snowmobile trail as opposed to the road, it would be better. Well, I was partly right. It hurt less than the road, but the soft snow that just got softer as I ran made it a sufferfest. The snowmobile trail was a total mess. Huge bare spots and mud that I sunk into almost losing a shoe. I actually had to stop and take off my shoes to get mud out of them. Haha. I ran from home on the snowmobile trails in Conway. By the time I got to Stark Rd I had to give up on the trail and jump on the road. I ran Stark to 153 and then got back on the snowmobile trail (reluctantly but to avoid extra miles) for .9 miles over to Tasker Hill Rd where I ran the road back through Cranmore Shores. My watch hit 13.1 miles exactly at road into my neighborhood so I just stopped there and walked back home. Once again, exhausted! And in pain!
2:03:08. 9:22 avg pace (which was actually pretty good considering how slow the snowmobile trail parts were). 885ft of elevation gain.
As soon as I walked in the door and sat down to take off my shoes, I messaged the person helping me with my running and said that I had to take a zero on Monday. Haha.
I showered then got John and the dogs out for a walk on the snowmobile trail in North Conway. The weather was pretty nice, and it actually made my pain subside quite a bit. We didn't walk far, only 1.5 miles, but John had a really fun time playing with the dogs.
We went home and I got to work on packing down John a trail to his bus stop...until I realized the brook was now melted and there was no way across without going a half mile around via our wooden bridge. By the time I got to my destination, I realized this was absolutely ridiculous and called the van driver to ask if he could pick John up in a different spot just across the bridge. Thankfully, he agreed and John now only had to walk about 100 yards behind our house. Haha. I did end up finishing off that mile of breaking trail. It took me 41 minutes! So as you can guess, I was DONE by the time I got back. I made us dinner then plopped down on the couch for TV time until The Walking Dead was over.
So it was a rough week for me. Seemed like the culmination of events just building led to my pity party breakdown, but I was much better by Sunday. Of course, knowing New Bedford Half Marathon is coming up this Sunday could mean another sob fest on the way home, so I'm prepared for that. Haha. I have no idea what kind of shape I'm in for New Bedford. I don't have a high goal either. I remember in 2015 when I "only" ran a 1:23 and was so disappointed I didn't hit my 1:20 goal. Hahahahahaha!! Oh those were the days. And then another disappointing 1:25 in 2016! Ensue more laughter!!! Hahaha! I'm just looking to run under 1:27 this year, but who knows if I will even run that fast if that goddamn wind has a say. But at least I feel like I'm going in with a reasonable goal. Just have to not destroy myself prior to that... and without help, I probably would. Actually, no. Take "probably" out of that. I definitely would. But here's hoping for a better race!!
OMG. I cannot get over this song. I was a HUGE Brandi Carlile fan back in 2005-2006 when I was pregnant with John and after he was born. I haven't cared much for her music since then UNTIL I heard this new song of hers. It totally blew me away. Wow. Her voice is just amazing in this.
I was definitely tired when we finished and totally dreaded the early morning wake up and drive. I had registered John for the Kids 1K snowshoe race, but when I realized I'd have to get up at 3:30am, I said screw that. An extra hour of sleep was definitely a better choice. The more rest the better. I had a bad feeling about the race all day and night. I didn't want to do it, but it cost me A LOT of money with the USSSA membership fee on top of the registration fee. If it wasn't Tim Van Orden's race, I would have skipped it still, though. I just knew it was going to be bad. I should have listened to my gut.
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| Pretty sunset. Nice thing about winter is that you can see Heavenly Hill. |
By the time I was back at the lodge and ready to strip down to my Six03 nordic suit (which I will NEVER wear again, by the way), I only had 10 minutes to the start. It was freezing, windy and snowing outside so I had to run around to stay warm. I came upon a single track section that I figured had to be part of the course; I just had no idea when we'd run it! But oh my god. It had been broken into a trench, but a trench of powder. This was my first taste of the pain we were about to endure. If I only knew just how hard this race was going to be. Omg. Not to mention we were racing before the men so WE were the ones packing down the trail.
I got back to the start and lined up with the few running friends I knew there: Amy Rusiecki, Sarah Canney, Jamie Woolsey, Amber Ferreira and Jennifer Vandongen. I decided to copy Sarah and Amber by tucking the nordic suit top into the pants when I realized they were onto something. Otherwise, snow would have been flying up it onto my bare skin. Although it made me look even more hideous in that nordic suit, it ended up being the right choice. I would have had numb, red skin within the first mile if I hadn't. The only other person I recognized was Jennifer Chaudoir since I talked to her some at World's last year. Otherwise, it was all people I didn't know. This was a huge change from 2014 when we had double the amount of racers, and I knew a lot of people there. The start was wide so I lined up reluctantly on the line in between Amy and Jamie. Tim gave a brief starting announcement and then started the race. He said something funny as you can see how we're all laughing in the start pic, but I can't remember what it was. Haha.
Within a few steps I lost my balance in the soft snow and almost fell into Amy. Haha. I tried to get ahead of most of the pack but didn't even try to go out with the women in front. Based on the footing at the start, I knew this was going to be a LONG race. The only problem with hanging back was all of the snow being kicked in our faces in addition to the falling snow. It was hard to see. The pack was a little tight as we rounded the first section and one girl went down and almost took Amy with her. I was right behind them so I had to stop, but it was quick. Amy immediately helped the girl to her feet and we were running again. Fortunately with this climb we spread out pretty quickly. There was a downhill back to the finish area and then we were off into no man's land uphill for the next 4K. I was struggling bad already. I had no power whatsoever in that soft snow and it was all uneven with only snowshoe prints to follow. Nothing was packed down or solid for this ENTIRE race, and that is no exaggeration. Not a bit. It was all soft and uneven on the wide parts and deep, fresh powder on the single track. I was already tired when we hit the 1st mile. I felt so slow and heavy and everyone ahead was pulling away quickly. I had NOTHING. My run is more of a shuffle and without any real snowshoe running/racing this winter, I was way out of practice. I was stumbling and didn't feel confident on my feet at all. It was terrible. I seriously contemplated dropping out at this point, but I told myself to just keep going that maybe I would have a better race after this 4K climb. I got passed on the climb by one woman with whom I would stay close to for awhile before she was gone. I had two right on my tail for the rest of the way. Before we ever hit the top, I was already feeling completely defeated and upset with the way it was going.
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| The only time I was ahead of Sarah Canneythe whole race. She would go on to have the race of her life finishing 3rd! |
We finally came back down into civilization with the same switchbacks as 2014 down past the finish, and remembering that, I knew we would be going back up, but I was expecting something like 2014. Oh no. Not even close. This was just pure evil. We turned onto a steep single track that went up and around for half a mile before coming back through the finish area again. At this point, all fingers on both hands had gone completely numb; I was wearing a pair of thicker neoprene Nathan gloves with a mitten cover flap over them thinking this would be warm enough, but my entire body was soaking wet from all the snow and nothing could keep my hands warm enough.
I had no idea this next section was going to happen. I thought this would just be a short up and down before coming back to the finish, but no, this was more twisting, powder single track for about .7 miles before it brought us by the finish again. Fortunately, I had done that short warm up before the race, so I knew weren't done. We hadn't hit that single track yet. Just as I was passing the finish, the men's race started next to me so I knew I was at 1.5 hours so far on the course. I entered the last single track and realized this young girl had caught up to me. She had been nowhere in sight on the last single track so she must have pushed it while were out in the open part. No way was I getting passed in the last .4 of this race. Fortunately, I was better on this single track than she was, but once we came out and rounded the corner for the uphill to the finish, she was on me instantly. I didn't think I had any kick in me at all, but I fucking did today, and I crossed the finish line just barely ahead of her in 10th place. 6.7 miles on the GPS which had to be no less than 7.5 with all of those tight turns. 1:34:21. A crazy 1,194ft of elevation gain. Full Saturday Results.
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| Photo by Jennifer Brightman |
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| Another photo by Jennifer Brightman just before I finished |
Unfortunately feeling normal also meant thinking normally again and the disappointment became overwhelming. I couldn't believe what had just happened. How could I have run so poorly?! This started a downward spiral for the rest of the day. Fortunately, the drive back down to Brattleboro was a bit of white knuckled driving with the snow and some idiot driving with their brakes and going a ridiculously slow speed. They almost caused an accident with those of us behind them having to hit our brakes. This kept my mind focused on that.
Once in town, we went right to Whetstone Station for lunch. I was able to put us on the waitlist before we got there so we didn't wait too long. Silly me pulled into the metered lot, thought it was Sunday (since we ate here last year on a Sunday after the snowshoe race), didn't pay the meter and ended up with a $10 parking ticket. Haha. Oops. Totally spaced that it was Saturday. Lunch with John was good even though he had his headphones in. Haha. We both got burgers. I was SO hungry and ate every bite. I had two really good beers. My spirits were lifted a bit by this point.
We left for home and drove through town. I pointed out our Dunkin' Donuts campsite from the night before the Green River Marathon. As soon as I looked in that parking lot, it triggered my downward spiral. All of a sudden remembering that night and how I was in tears because I couldn't afford a place for us to stay just triggered an emotional breakdown. Not to mention that within a mile of there, we passed a gas station that had once been the site of a happy moment in my life that has now gone to shit. I purposely stopped at the next one, but it didn't help. I ended up in full blown tears hating my horrible life for the entire stretch of road to Keene and beyond. It was a true moment of wallowing in self pity. It wasn't just the bad race; it was everything just piled on in my head. I don't know if everyone has those moments, but I certainly do, and this was one of the worst. Haha. I can laugh at myself now which is a good thing. The only thing I regret is not keeping it to myself since I shared how I was feeling with someone else who had no need to hear about my shit.
I finally calmed down for the rest of the drive, and it went fine. John played with Phoenix for awhile which kept my attention elsewhere in a good way. We weren't home too late. I got a shower and sunk into the couch with Phoenix the rest of the evening.
Sunday, March 11, 2018- I was woken up to the ding of a message which was nice, but I couldn't keep my eyes open after briefly responding, so I slept another hour and a half. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the time change making it feel so late. Plenty of time for the day, though. I was feeling a lot better and had my usual coffee by the kitchen window before it was time to venture out for my run. I was pretty beat, but, unfortunately, in order to hit 60 miles for the week, I had to get in 13.1 miles. I had fallen short 2 miles the day before due to the shortened warm up and no cool down. I was in quite a bit of pain in my high hamstring tendons, the same issue I've had for exactly a year now. I suspected then that this "injury" might be due to snowshoe racing, and after this weekend's race, I have even more evidence of this being the case. I have not been in pain in these tendons like this since this exact time last year after the Northeast Snowshoe Championship. They've been in chronic pain since but nothing like this...until now...a day after snowshoe racing. I may have just run my last snowshoe race ever.
Oh, oh! Another thing I noticed. By the way, I do still have plantar fasciitis but it's been mild and bearable for a long time...until this weekend. I ran both Friday's run and Saturday's race in my Hoka One One Speed Instincts and my PF was THROBBING. I had assumed my snow boots had started the PF a year ago, but when I went back over the time line, I noticed it started also shortly after I got the Speed Instincts and started wearing them regularly. I have no idea on the actual truth of either theory about the tendons or the Hokas, but the fact that these symptoms presented themselves with the same factors, I can't rule it out. Those Hokas went right into a bag of shoes to get rid of yesterday. Not wearing those ever again. As far as snowshoe racing goes, I'm sure I'll race again, but with this suspicion in the back of my mind.
So anyway, I was a hurting puppy and stupidly thought that if I ran on the snowmobile trail as opposed to the road, it would be better. Well, I was partly right. It hurt less than the road, but the soft snow that just got softer as I ran made it a sufferfest. The snowmobile trail was a total mess. Huge bare spots and mud that I sunk into almost losing a shoe. I actually had to stop and take off my shoes to get mud out of them. Haha. I ran from home on the snowmobile trails in Conway. By the time I got to Stark Rd I had to give up on the trail and jump on the road. I ran Stark to 153 and then got back on the snowmobile trail (reluctantly but to avoid extra miles) for .9 miles over to Tasker Hill Rd where I ran the road back through Cranmore Shores. My watch hit 13.1 miles exactly at road into my neighborhood so I just stopped there and walked back home. Once again, exhausted! And in pain!
2:03:08. 9:22 avg pace (which was actually pretty good considering how slow the snowmobile trail parts were). 885ft of elevation gain.
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| I took this after my run was over. They were caked in mud initially. |
I showered then got John and the dogs out for a walk on the snowmobile trail in North Conway. The weather was pretty nice, and it actually made my pain subside quite a bit. We didn't walk far, only 1.5 miles, but John had a really fun time playing with the dogs.
We went home and I got to work on packing down John a trail to his bus stop...until I realized the brook was now melted and there was no way across without going a half mile around via our wooden bridge. By the time I got to my destination, I realized this was absolutely ridiculous and called the van driver to ask if he could pick John up in a different spot just across the bridge. Thankfully, he agreed and John now only had to walk about 100 yards behind our house. Haha. I did end up finishing off that mile of breaking trail. It took me 41 minutes! So as you can guess, I was DONE by the time I got back. I made us dinner then plopped down on the couch for TV time until The Walking Dead was over.
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| Another nice sunset |
OMG. I cannot get over this song. I was a HUGE Brandi Carlile fan back in 2005-2006 when I was pregnant with John and after he was born. I haven't cared much for her music since then UNTIL I heard this new song of hers. It totally blew me away. Wow. Her voice is just amazing in this.
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