Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Resting and Stressing

Believe it or not, I was actually really good this week about taking it back a notch and resting. I went from almost a 64 mile week last week to just over 35 miles this week. I even picked up an extra 12 hour shift at work on Thursday to force myself to rest more. Unfortunately, this would end up being an extremely stressful week dealing with the potentially dangerous Michael Weinberg and the culmination of events that would lead to our scheduled court date on October 25 at 9:30am at the Conway Circuit Court. I'll give vague details here and then more after the court date has come and gone. I don't want this blog post to be about him, but it will be, unfortunately. Mon-Thurs of this week was a constant barrage of comments from Michael that escalated quickly to the danger point. Most of my week was spent dealing with this, but by Friday, all was much calmer in my world. So I'm breaking this week up into 2 blog posts.

Monday, September 26, 2016- Followed through on a planned zero day to start recovery from Lone Gull. The entire back of my left leg and glute were killing me all day so a zero was a smart move.

My ambulance partner and I stopped by the Sheriff's Dept to pick up a copy of the police report that was written over the winter when I first had my problems with Michael. I should have walked over to the courthouse right then to file for a restraining order, but I didn't.

Later that afternoon, I attempted to walk on the treadmill, but it was interrupted by an email that was so alarming that I had to stop and call the police. I was told to go to the courthouse and file for a temporary restraining order ASAP. Of course. Haha. After that, I had no desire to get back on the treadmill since I was beginning to worry about my son being at the house overnight. I finally had to text his dad to let him know what was going on; I was trying to avoid bringing this up again with him since he didn't seem to care at all the last time. But I felt this had escalated to a whole new level from the winter and the safety of anyone at the house was a concern. I was thankful for yet another quiet night since I was having trouble concentrating on anything else.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016- I decided to go right to the Carroll County Courthouse as soon as they opened so I went right from work on a 2-mile walk around White Lake. This was another planned day off from running, but it would be an active recovery day.

White Lake in Tamworth

 I drove down to the courthouse immediately after my walk. I chose to stay in my uniform because I figured it might help me get this moving along faster than if not. I think it did end up helping. No judge was available after I filled out the form (4 long pages of a narrative), but the woman there asked if I could hang around while she searched for another judge who could quickly take a look at my request and sign it. She felt my safety was a concern and didn't want me to leave before it got done. So I ended up sitting there for 2 hours, but I didn't mind. John's dad was cool about keeping John a little longer while I waited. The district court office was shared with Family Services, so I got to listen to the sad marriage stories of a few people who came in there. One ended up telling me her whole story in detail; I think she just wanted someone to hear her story. I genuinely felt for her, too. She had a long road in front of her that was probably going to involve lawyers. Ugh. Then a guy came in with a friend, and I listened to him talk about his wife and her heroin addiction and getting arrested while driving with their two kids. Such a mess. I have to say I was thankful that my divorce wasn't like that. Even through our hatred for each other at the time, we still made every decision based on John. We never even had to go through mediation or in front of a judge because we were able to agree on everything. We were divorced in less than 2 months after filing. Seeing the path that these people were just getting started on made me grateful for our easy split and our equal love for John.

My name was finally called and the temporary restraining order was placed in my hands. I felt immediate relief even though it was explained to me that it was completely invalid until Michael had been served. She stated it could take days since it had go across State lines. I wasn't worried about it. This sense of relief would be naive.

I finally went home, half of the day wasted on dealing with Michael. I needed more exercise, so John and I went to The Mill to swim in the pool... a year to the day of my injury. John decided after we got there that he didn't want to swim, so I just swam by myself for 30 minutes. The last time I was in this pool, I was on the tail end of my injury aquajogging around the deep end. I was happy to be here this time for recovery instead of injury, even though, like I said in the last blog post, I really wasn't 100% sure I was NOT injured. I just told myself I needed rest from running for a few days. It did hurt to kick my left leg as I swam, so I took it easy on that side. As always, just a 30 minute lap swim kicked my ass so I felt like I had gotten a good workout in.

Back at The Mill exactly a year to the day of my injury.
John and I took a walk with the dogs on the trails behind The Mill afterward. It was such a nice day out, and I was enjoying being with my John. I was so worried, though, about him being hurt if Michael actually tried to hurt me. He always says that he'll take one of his many weapons (he has about 3 different things haha) and try to beat up anyone who tried to hurt us. I always have to remind him that I would want him to run away and be safe and not worry about me. It's nice to know I have someone who cares enough about me that he would do that, but there is no way I would want him to. Such a good kid, though, even if he does drive me crazy sometimes. Haha. We ran some errands after our walk then went to John's ninja class later that night.

Chill when I got back from the courthouse

I feel like I'm being watched.
Afternoon Beer

Learned after I checked in this Against the Grain 35K Milk Stout on Untappd that Michael had been following my Untappd all of this time. Set my account to private.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016- I had planned to take this day off, too, but going into a 36 hour shift, there was no way. I actually regretted picking up the extra 12-hour shift on Monday and tried to give it away, but there were no takers, so I was doing it. I decided to run my usual Wednesday 5-mile treadmill run. I actually felt really good, after two days off. 5 miles. 7:11/mi pace. 1-3% elevation every half mile. Blah, blah. Same run as always unless it's a recovery run. I was thankful for this run because it was a LONG 36 hours, but a few hours into the day, and I was feeling the same pain in the back of the left leg. Dammit.

Wednesday was steady enough that we had some calls. Nothing overnight, though. My resting pulse was much better this week, but not quite down to where it should be. I was pleased to see the two rest days helped, but realized that I needed the 36 hour shift of rest still.
About halfway to normal
Michael was pretty quiet for part of the day, so I assumed he had been served my restraining order... but no. Messages resumed. Threatening messages. He then told me he was going to run the Lynn Woods weekly race that evening, so I immediately warned the people I knew who would be there. They let him race but watched him. That evening, I sent one of my friends who was there the threatening messages he had sent, and she was horrified and passed it on to others. I don't think they took my warning seriously on how potentially dangerous this person was until this point. This was no joke. I'm not creating drama. I don't do drama. I'm someone who spends most of my time alone or with my son. I like to keep to myself, and I have few close friends. I don't need the attention. Yeah, I know. Why do I have this blog? Good question. I have yet to answer that myself. Creative outlet maybe? I don't know. But like I said, I'm not creating drama out of nothing. This shit got real, and it got real fast, and no one was taking me seriously. Instead, I think I was being taken as overly dramatic. I assure you I was not. And like I said, I'll post more details after the court date. My vagueness is only because I feel it necessary at this point. Believe me. The New England running community, women especially, needs to know there is a dangerous person lurking in our midst.

Thursday, September 29, 2016- The day that would be like the cresting of a wave. I wouldn't call it the finale, but by the time my head hit the pillow that night, I felt a lot safer. Definitely not permanently, but at least for the night.

At 7am, my Wednesday partner left, and I got two new partners for the Thursday shift. They are really young and were a breath of fresh air. After the truck check, we went to The Met Coffeehouse and sat down while we had our drinks. Just like the old days when we used to hangout at The Met almost every shift. The day was beautiful and really had a great start. I walked the railroad tracks back and forth for a couple of miles, my mind churning about what to do with this scary situation. Michael's messages continued. I was getting really frustrated that it had been over 48 hours since I got the restraining order without him being served. I even called twice to see if there was any confirmation of him being served, but there was none. Then all of a sudden...silence. For hours. I started to feel relief. And then around 4:30ish, I got a message from Michael that he was here in North Conway. I'll give the details later, but I was able to confirm this. He also threatened me in these messages, so I called the police and then had John and his dad bring me the gun at work. I didn't want to go home without it. By the time the police made a move by putting out a BOLO over the Carroll County channels on the radio, Michael had already crossed back into Massachusetts. I didn't know this yet, and my shift was over. I HAD to go for a run, but it wasn't going to be around the streets of North Conway, as planned. I went deep into the pitch black woods, not even turning on my headlamp until I was way back in there. My old ambulance partner, Michelle, was working the next 12 hours of the shift I was doing, so I told her where I was going and when to expect me to finish. Even though, I ran somewhere Michael would probably never find me, I was still nervous the whole time and even screwed up my watch, missing about 2.5 miles of the run (it was an out-and-back, so I was able to figure out almost exactly what I missed). I needed this run more than I've really NEEDED a run in a long time. 6.5 miles on the trail, and I even broke one of my own Strava CRs while I was out there. Leg pain and stalker be damned! Haha!

When I got back to my car, the police officer I've been working with on this since the winter called me and said that Michael was back in Massachusetts. He said Worcester PD was planning to meet him when he got home and serve him with my restraining order (FINALLY!). The police officer told me that he was able to contact Michael on his cell phone (Michael had given me his number in one of his messages) and spoke to him. He asked me to print out all of the messages Michael had sent me and that he would meet me at my house, which he did. I had to write a statement, and while I did that, he read through the messages. It was then that he realized just how much worse this was than the winter. He even said so. He told me that charges would be pressed against Michael for the threats of harm, but as of this writing, I don't think anything has come of that. When he left, I opened my last Foolproof Augtoberfest beer to celebrate the small victory.

Although, I felt some temporary peace, I still slept with my gun on my nightstand. I don't feel like this is over. Over the next few days, Michael posted blog comments to others expressing his desire for peace and this picture of him praying, but it's a little too late; I'm not buying any of it. It's only a matter of time before he does this again to either me or someone else.

Michael's Blogger profile pic
The court date is in 6 days. I have a folder thick with Michael's words, two police reports and a signed letter from another blogger who was also harassed by Michael to back up my case for a permanent restraining order. Not that I expect him to comply which is why I'm currently taking measures to protect myself if need be.

Here's a song I used to listen to in 2011 that I think is almost perfect for this post except I'll change the lyrics a bit. I wasn't dead when I woke up the next morning and I won't be dead before the day is done.

No comments:

Post a Comment