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Old hidden road- Eaton Woods Rd |
Since the pandemic ended abruptly on May 11th (sarcasm), the town has been insanely flooded with tourists. As upsetting as it is, I'm having to finally accept that there's nothing I can do about it. The bottom line for nearly everything is the dollar bill. Never will it be about what's right. Never. Humans as a whole are not good creatures. Are we the only animal so self-centered? Has having "intelligence" backfired? I believe it to be true. Part of accepting this means having to avoid a lot of the mountains and trails I normally walk and run on for awhile. I normally see more people on the trails after Memorial Day, but this is just beyond ridiculous. I can't deal with this many people in the woods at once. It's a place to escape, not be surrounded by a city crowd. So I've been in search of these hidden places. Some I knew about years ago and were forgotten. Others are ones that I know most non-locals won't be on. It's very limiting in where I will go now, but I'm grateful to have it available. I imagine finding solitude in the woods of the suburbs is nearly impossible right now. But they are used to being in crowds, with no sense of personal space. I'm not. There was a time when I was, and I do absolutely love the city, but I need space away from everyone. I like the silence. And, oh yeah, I also don't want the fucking coronavirus spread to me. I can't afford to be out sick. John would be fending for himself for weeks. I like being healthy so I can run and kayak and hike. Sickness is not my idea of a good time. The only positive is the weightloss. Haha. I've only been extremely sick once in my life back in January 2012. It got so bad I actually thought I was going to die at one point. Thanks to a doctor friend who called me in an albuterol prescription or I might have actually died. The next day was the only shift I ever called out sick while working at North Conway Ambulance. I don't like being sick and calling out of work. So I'll pass on making it easy to get the Coronavirus, thank you very much. I'll let everyone else be guinea pigs for the next month. If there's no 2nd wave, then maybe I'll reenter the world more. Haha.
Unfortunately, I did have to endure one experience out of my comfort zone by venturing into Home Depot on Saturday. My refrigerator finally died last week. It's been on the fritz for two years now. I had planned to replace it next month because I needed a lawn mower first, but it finally shit the bed. I needed a refrigerator now. I pulled into the Home Depot lot filled with more cars than I'd ever seen there. Did all of these people actually NEED to be in Home Depot on Saturday? Doubtful. I found a the fridge I wanted but was told they were all out of stock with 2-3 weeks delivery time. The employee sensed my urgency and asked if I actually NEEDED one right now. I told her that I did since mine had died, so she said she probably shouldn't be telling me this, but to go to Lowe's instead since they have more in stock. That was cool of her. I had to buy a new outdoor trash can so I grabbed one and got the hell out of there. I honestly couldn't bring myself to go into another crowded place so I sat in my car in the Home Depot lot and ordered an in-stock fridge from Lowe's. It was a gamble that paid off. 4 days later, I have a new refrigerator in my kitchen. Phew.
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Old piece of junk |
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Nice new fridge |
The only other store I could bring myself to go in over the holiday weekend was the Family Dollar where there was literally only one other shopper. Other than that, we stayed at home or in the woods.
I learned last week that my friend, Haley, lost her dad last week. He'd been battling cancer for the last few years, but that isn't what killed him. He somehow contracted the Coronavirus and died at Mass General. HE was only 57. Only his wife was able to be with him when he passed away. Haley was lucky to be given just 5 minutes with him in the days before he died, but she didn't get to be there with him when he passed away. All she can be thankful for is that he's not suffering anymore. His last days were spent suffering, struggling to breathe due to the Coronavirus. Even though I never met her dad, it still hits close enough to home because someone I know well is going through a devastating loss due to Coronavirus. How can that not affect you? How can that not make you think that this should still be taken seriously? Because none of these naysayers have lost someone to it. It's not real until it hits home. This was a real person just like you and me. Read his obituary. Maybe he'll cease just being a number in the Coronavirus death toll that's discounted because "more people die from the flu every year". *eyeroll*
This week was pretty quiet. No drama or anything. Sorry! Haha. We did hear from Bryan for the first time in over a month. He texted John saying he's planning to walk to Area 51 and asked if he could take Chill with him. No, Bryan, you can't take Chill. Haha. He said he's leaving in 2 weeks. Yesterday he messaged me that John's school payment is complete. That's great. No more financial obligation. I happy that he fulfilled that obligation and that he doesn't have that hanging over his head. I think he will be happier if he can take his walk. He's been wanting to walk across the country for 20 years. He used to talk about it, and I always said no way. I loved thru-hiking the trails, but walking across the country on roads. Not a chance. Now, he finally can go. I hope he does it. I would much rather have him be in a happy place. Maybe it would help him keep from getting stressed. Stress is what exacerbates his issues. It usually ends in rage and poor decisions. I hope he might come back and actually be able to reconcile with John. I do worry about his mental state and someone hurting him while he's out there. I guess I can only just hope for the best since there's nothing I can do about it. John did agree to see Bryan this week. I kind of encouraged him to because I thought he might regret it some day if he doesn't before Bryan leaves. They're going to meet at Frontside Grind for coffee or whatever. I'll be around, but I'm not going to hover or anything. Might just take the dogs on a walk nearby or something. I'm half expecting Bryan to back out even though he's the one who's been begging to see John. I hope I'm wrong, though.
So I attempted to do a week back on my low-carb, no sugar diet. The one that worked oh so well until life got crazy. I only wanted to do it strictly for a week because it's the only way I can curb the sugar craving/addiction. I made it 5 days and I felt awful. It was hot as balls all week, I got absolutely no sleep Monday night at work. I had zero energy. Every single run was a struggle. My body didn't cope well with the sudden extreme heat and humidity. Plus, I wasn't eating right, so it was seriously a struggle bus all week. My running sucked so badly. I had to go back to eating more normally. Luckily, though, just 5 days did help the sugar craving. I'm eating some again, but I'm not binging on sugar like I was. So as I already learned, low carb doesn't work for me as a runner. The key is just going to be cutting out the sugar periodically but not so many carbs. The problem is the carbs feed the sugar craving which is why I wanted to try it again. But it's a huge no. Not happening. Sucks, though. My body is turning flabby and the pounds have stayed on. Racing was really the only way I think I stayed fit. I feel like bouncing back from this to racing again is going to be an uphill battle. I think it's going to take at least 6-8 months to get back into shape. And who knows if I'll ever get back into the shape I was in last November. I'm not really sure if I care anymore.
Intermission....
Ok. So I'm on week 3 of trying to write this blog post. I've either been too busy at work, someone is talking my ear off, busy getting shit done at home or studying for my practical exam. So what you just read is outdated. I could delete it all and start over, but I won't. Just hope I can actually remember where I left off because it seems like forever ago. Before I backtrack I'm going to go with some stuff from the present....
I PASSED MY AEMT PRACTICAL!! Woot! I drove down to NH Fire Med yesterday for the exam. It was as awful as I expected. Of course I get the Medical Assessment station first. Something I do in real life all the fucking time, but I was so nervous, that I had to pause multiple times, I was slightly shaking and my arm pits were sweating. The only thing that made it better after that was that I was right to the next stations. Boom, boom, boom. I almost failed the Supraglottic Airway station. I practiced this station probably the most during our class and I NEVER have had an issue placing a king airway. But of course during my exam I couldn't get it to work. I did everything. Re-positioned it. Deflated the bulbs, then reinflated them. No go. We 3 attempts to get it right. So I removed it and went for a second attempt. Same thing! I was freaking out. Finally, I knew I'd fail if I made a 3rd attempt with the King so I pulled it out and placed an LMA for my 3rd attempt. Had no problem whatsoever! Got it immediately. WTF. That was a close one. Although I was unsure I passed all the stations on the first try, somehow I did! The relief felt great!
It wasn't until after it was over that I realized just how stressed out I had been from it for the last 2 months. Hanging over my head all the time. Always on my mind. I got my provisional license, but it still never felt legit. The stress I felt even made me NOT study until the last 2 weeks. I just couldn't get myself to do it. Looking at the sheets just stressed me out even more. The last two weeks, I've had the worst neck pain and I was kind of on edge. Thinking about the approaching practical. My hands were constantly clinched in a fist. I had both neck pain and clinched fists all morning of the exam. When I walked out of there, I drove up to Millennium Running about 25 minutes away. By the time I got there, my neck pain was completely gone. I also literally felt like I'd lost 10lbs. The weight off my shoulders was gone! I proceeded to run their Anytime 5K course from the store (chip-timed, but still virtual and solo). I haven't felt that good and light on my feet since I don't know when. I ended up running it in 19:53! I was floored to have run it that fast solo. A time I would have cried over in a real 5K, but solo, I was psyched with that time. I felt so good. Driving home, I realized I no longer had something looming that I had to do. I was carefree, listening to music, windows down. When I got home, I burned my practical assessment sheets. Haha. Almost started a forest fire since it was windy. Oops. Haha. It didn't actually get that far, but I put the fire out with the hose immediately. My current fire pit needs improvement. It didn't help that I had an old dry wreath in there.
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Before it really got going. |
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Dogs watching me at the fire from afar. Haha. |
I ended up having two celebratory beers and still managed to make that night's dinner, plus my soup for the week and a loaf of primal soul bread. I would have made lemon muffins, too, but it was too late. Still put the laundry away after that. Didn't get up to run this morning before work, though, so I still have to work on that. I need to run only one of the mornings before work (Mon or Wed) and not take both off. So we'll see how Wednesday goes. We've been destroyed on Mondays lately, though, so I've needed that extra hour of sleep on Wednesdays.
Speaking of being destroyed on Mondays. Last week I had my first shit call (kind of) as an AEMT. Guy in a really bad car accident who was also overdosing. Haha. Got a little hairy in the back of the truck en route. He wasn't showing signs of overdose until we were 3-4 minutes into the transport. I ended up giving him narcan, but 7-8 minutes later, he was still tanking. My partner saw me moving all around the back in the mirror and asked if I wanted him to pull over and to call for a medic. I didn't know if he had something else going like an internal bleed so I said yes. We were in Conway already so we called for Conway Ambulance. Just as Josh walks up, the narcan had taken affect. My patient's perfect vitals came up on the monitor and he regained consciousness. Haha. I basically said hi and bye to Josh. Thanks for coming! Then we proceeded to the hospital. I was sweating buckets. Good call for me. There are some things I would do differently next time, but in the end, I fixed the problem, and that's my job. I still have a long way to go to being a more confident Advanced, but I'll get there.
So Bryan and John's visit together went well. Bryan acted like a total weirdo around me, but I quickly left for a walk with Phoenix. As I walked away I saw Bryan sitting on the patio wall instead of at the table with John so I was nervous. Luckily, they ended up having a good time. They walked down to First Bridge...which ironically enough is where they were last together when Bryan got arrested. Apparently they challenged each other in a push-up contest. Haha. Crazy that the last time they were there, Bryan was screaming at John to do push ups while John was crying. That same week, John decided he wanted to be stronger than Bryan and started the upper body routine he still does every day. They ended up tying in the push-up contest. Haha. I'm glad they had a good visit, and Bryan is coming by to pick up John to hang out today. I'm a little nervous about that since Bryan could snap again and leave John behind, but John is a different person now. He won't put up with Bryan's shit anymore. Bryan knows he's toeing a fine line, too, so I'm hoping he behaves. Seeing/not seeing Bryan has always been John's decision since the incident last August, so I have to respect his decision to give Bryan another chance, even if it makes me uneasy.
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Phoenix cooling off during our walk |
There were no riots/protests when I started this post, but things seem to be changing drastically in the country from week to week. I think the looting and riots are awful. Awful. I will not try to "understand" that part of what has come out of George Floyd's death. I DO, however, understand the anger of the African-American community. If I see another goody-goody, overly dramatic post saying that I can't possibly understand the anger because I'm white, I'm going to go off. We can all understand anger due to a wrong to some degree. What I'll never know is what it's like to be an African-American. That is the truth. While we used to get harassed CONSTANTLY by police when we lived in our van (pulled out of the vehicle, spot lights in my face, accused of having drugs, questioned about what I'm doing), and I still get a ping of anxiety every time I see a cop car 18 years later, that is nothing compared to what many African-Americans have gone through with law enforcement. I know the profiling and racism is a real thing. But I also can't vilify police officers as a whole. I can't accept this as a black or white issue. The majority of police officers are in the job to help people. They put their lives on the line for others. I get why the African-American community is fed-up, though. These horrible incidents aren't isolated. Their protests are real and from the heart. However, the protests up here in here white America, I feel are not. I couldn't pin point it. Why do these protests in Conway with all white people who have never lived in a diverse community bother me so much? During my "5K" yesterday, I literally had to run through a bunch of white protesters twice. Then drove through more white protesters in Meredith on my way home. Why would this bother me? Then I figured it out. It just doesn't feel genuine. White people holding up signs saying "Black Lives Matter" when these people probably rarely ever come into contact with someone of a different race. "We care about black lives even though we don't know any black people!" To me, it feels intrinsic. Like they're out there out of guilt and doing it just to make themselves feel better when they are accomplishing nothing. Shouting, "Black Lives Matter" to a bunch of white people who don't really care because none of this affects them. And those racists driving by will always be racists. You aren't changing anything standing on the corner of Meredith, NH. You're only suppressing the guilt with a moment of satisfaction that will fade just as quickly as our country's concern over Covid-19 did. Neither will disappear, but typical American boredom will ensue, and everyone will go back to what they were doing and looking for the next "exciting" thing to be a part of just so they can satisfy that ego and suppress the guilt.
I don't need to stand out there. You know why? Because I already unknowingly fought that fight. I grew up in a diverse city. Athens, GA. A melting pot and people of all races. When I was little, I remember my family members and friends using the n-word and constant racist comments. The excuse that, "I had a black friend," does not absolve you from being a racist. It was rampant in previous generations. I was naive to think that my generation in Georgia was the first to break that mold. I thought it was all of us who were growing up as one community. Living as schoolmates, teammates, neighbors and not black or white or brown. Only once I left and then went back as an adult, I realized that my generation as a whole didn't change. Racist comments and the n-word were still said out in the open. Somehow, my child mind chose to fight it, chose to accept people as people and not get stuck as just another kid brought up to be racist.
I honestly believe it started with an incident I remember so vividly. I had to be no more than 5 years old. I can still see where we were in our van on the road driving like it was yesterday. My brothers yelling at me to yell out the window at a black person walking along the road up ahead. I still can't even believe this happened. I don't even remember why I did it, but I do remember feeling like I didn't have a choice. They told me to yell, "Blackie!" And I did it. I remember feeling instant shame and regret. At age 5! Somehow, at a young age, I knew it wasn't right. I remember hanging my head. No memory past that. Probably just 10 seconds of my life that probably changed everything.
I still remember seeing the KKK once at age 5 or 6 out in their white robes protesting something in Athens. Only a blip in my memory. That's the only time I ever saw them. I still can't believe that was even real. In my lifetime, the KKK still on public display. I was sent to a mostly-white private school for my entire schooling. A school that started out of protest against integration. But, again, in my own world racism wasn't at thing. Certain influences I didn't even recognize at the time must have guided me in the right direction. So, no. I don't need to stand out on a corner with white people yelling at white people because I need to feel better about myself and to say look at me, look at what I'm doing. You aren't making a difference standing on a street corner. Cut the theatrics for attention. You're just hiding in the bandwagon. The difference you will make starts within you and how you then interact with others. That's when the good shit grows. When it's the real deal.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Nothing more to say here about this other than I'm even more grateful now to be living away from the chaos of the cities. I will admit that I'm happy to be living in a bubble right now. I just want to be in the peace and quiet away from people.
Oh one last thing. Saw this on Allie's Donut's IG page. Stemmed from an issue in Providence. I think it's a little overboard, but maybe I'm wrong.
I've decided to cancel the Dirty Girl Trail Race. I asked Tin Mountain their thoughts and they agreed since they haven't even opened yet. I can't plan an event if I don't know what the restrictions are going to be at the time. I may not be able to even have that many people at the event so what's the point? The stress of it isn't worth it either. I'm giving everyone who registered already a free deferral to next year. I don't even know what races I will be doing at all this year. Megunticook 50K is the only one I think might happen, but I'm not deciding that until August. I just don't really care at this point.
So I thought the Memorial job was done, but we all got called back. The hospital cut the staff who was manning the driveway for people driving in and told the ED they had to staff it. So that's us! Haha. I'm kind of bummed because it's way more money than the Club Motorsports details with Great Brook, but I've already committed all of my Fridays to them. Grr. So now I'm technically working 4 jobs. Sounds like a lot, but it's not really. I'm only able to give the hospital one 4-hour shift a week right now. And I only work one day for 8 hours at the track. 48 hours at Action. And Conway stuff is random. I am working a detail on Saturday with Conway and picked up a 12 hour shift the following 2 weekends. I only pick things up when I know I can still have a lot of free time. I need to run and get John and the dogs out.
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Memorial gave all of us EMTs who work there these bags for EMS week. I needed a new running day bag and this is perfect. I love it. And really cool of Memorial to do special bags for us. |
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Special mugs were in the bags. |
So wow, what else. Running? Haha. This past week wasn't much better as far as miles go. I just ran out of time Tuesday since I got stuck at work until 11am doing the report for my shit call. Forgot the facesheet so I went back to Memorial to get that and just ran from there into Whitaker Woods. The White Mountain Milers were doing a 3rd virtual race which was the Whitaker Woods Summer Series 5K trail course, and this was the last day so I just decided to do it. It was a slow AF time in 21:53, but I still managed to finish 1st female and 2nd overall. So that day was low miles and just started the downward spiral of a 2nd week of low mileage. Oh well. I was busy and stressed. I'm not going to worry about it. Even though I'm still busy and working a lot this week, I just feel like I'll still be able to get in 50 miles again.
I'll go back through the last 3 weeks of running and daily blah, blah, blah...
May 18-24- 51 miles. 5,141ft of elevation gain.
Monday- Zero.
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Loralei brought each service flowers and brownies for EMS week |
Tuesday- 11.3 miles. 1,028ft elevation gain
Ran the Potter Rd, Brownfield Rd, Gulf Rd loop. Gorgeous day. Only downside was the road grading that left me running through a lot of dust, but whatever. 1:33:06. 8:14/mi avg pace.
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View from Leavitt Rd |
That afternoon, I took John and the dogs back to Potter Rd to finally check out the trail right near where I started my run that morning. Jim Johnson and Kevin Tilton ran it back in 2014 or 2015 and told me about it. I never checked it out. Today was the day because I knew it would be people-free. The trail turned into an old road that passed a lot of ponds. It was really beautiful. I called it the Eaton Woods Rd. 2.3 miles.
Wednesday- Zero
Thursday- 13 miles. Ran right from work down Ossipee Lake Rd and a loop around Pequawket Trail and back. Felt ok, but tendons were hurting a bit. 1:39:23. 402ft elevation gain.
Later in the day, we took a walk from the high school. On our way up to the water tank we stumbled upon the mountain bike trails. I ran on them years ago when they were first being built and forgot about them. We decided to venture on them. Turned out to be a really nice loop. Walked through the Mineral Spring. 2.5 miles total.
John made the decision to redo his room. It was a mess of stuff he no longer played with and a bunk bed that took up half the room. It was a mess. He wanted a real bed. I'm so happy I have the money now to make that happen. I ordered him a full-size bed and mattress from Wayfair. Such high quality and inexpensive! I gave the bunk bed away. The neighbors had a used TV table so we got rid of his gross old furniture. He cleaned up the whole room. He's been keeping it neat and clean. It's SO awesome now. A room I thought was tiny is actually a really big room. He loves it so much. All that's left to get is a desk and chair where he can do school work. Then it will be complete. I even broke down and bought him an AC unit.
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John cleaning up his room |
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Took this photo while he was sleeping. |
Friday- 5 miles. Got up early to do a workout on the treadmill. 3 x 1-mile. Felt hard, but running before coffee is always hard for me. 6:23, 6:19, 6:15. 35:47 total. Avg pace 7:09/mi.
Today was opening day at Club Motorsports and my first day working for Great Brook EMS. It was warm out, but we had a nice breeze for a lot of the day. This is normally my sit and eat Bon Bons kind of work day, but we actually ended up with a transport to Memorial Hospital. Luckily, I immediately got along well with my partner whom I'd just met that morning. Our truck is only at the BLS level, but since he's an AEMT, he brought up our ALS bag. If he hadn't we would have had to call the Action crew to do the transport, so we lucked out getting to do the whole call. I also got a chance to attempt an IV for the first time in 2 months. It was an easy one, thankfully. My new partner and I worked well together which was great. Not too often are you immediately comfortable with a new partner. So far, all of my partners there are new to me, and I really like all of them. Just shows that Great Brook hires good people.
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Owner of NB gave a lot of money to Club Motorsports to keep it going so they bought the NB masks |
Saturday- 10.1 miles. Decided to pick a loop I knew I'd see few people. Ran from my Redstone spot on the mtb trails to Corridor 19. Just as I got on Corridor 19, I ran into a guy with a dog. I passed him multiple times on the snowmobile trail over the winter so I recognized him right away and said hi. I realized that he's the ONLY person I've seen on Corridor 19 all year. Haha. Ran about a mile to where it intersects the Mason Brook Trail and turned onto that for the climb up to the Black Cap Connector Trail. I ran back down this and saw only a few people before jumping back on the mtb trails where I only saw 1 biker. Pretty amazing to only run into a few people late morning on a Saturday. It just meant that I picked my run right. Haha. 1:51:05. 1,871ft of elevation gain.
That afternoon, I took the dogs on a short walk through the woods from the house so John and I could go biking after without them. We attempted the ride on the Mountain Division Trail, but my bike actually broke right after the first mile. I was able to slowly ride it back to the car. Bummed that it cut John's ride short. The bike hasn't had a tune-up since 2010, back in Fayetteville, NC so it was in dire need of one anyway. I'm actually surprised it didn't break sooner. Going to drop it off at REI for repairs at some point this week.
Sunday- 11.5 miles. Stayed on the local trails again at the Moat Mineral Site. Decided on a loop that would ensure I'd hit 50 miles for the week. When I was choosing my Buff for the run, I picked up a green Moose Mountain one then immediately put it back down to grab my Appalachian Trail one instead. Funny, that while running down the Red Ridge Connector Trail from White Horse I passed two guys hiking and one of them had on the same exact Buff. As I ran by, I said, "Nice Buff!" as I pointed to mine. Literally, 5 seconds later I came around a corner face-to-face with a young male deer standing in the trail. It was really cool. So I stopped and told those guys. Gave me a chance to actually talk to the guy with the Buff to find out he had thru-hiked the AT last year. We chatted while we all watched the deer. I didn't get a photo, unfortunately, but it was super cool. It finally moved along to bid those guys a good hike and ran on. Funny how my sudden change of mind to grab my AT Buff was significant that day.
Decided to go back to the Moat Mineral Site in the afternoon to walk with John and the dogs. Only 1.8 miles since it was super buggy.
May 25-31- 30.7 miles. Between trying to do that stupid diet for a week, the extreme heat and humidity and being tired as hell from work, every single run this week sucked. I felt SO awful. Monday at work was rough. Got our asses handed to us and only 2 hours of sleep. It set the course for the whole week. I don't think I felt better until Sunday. Haha. Still took 2 zero days since there was no way I could get up at 4am on Wednesday to run before my next shift. I worked in the morning at Memorial on Thursday so by the time I got a run in that afternoon it was SO hot and humid. My body wasn't ready for it. I barely made it through 4 miles and regretted actually bothering with it. I knew right then that this week was going to be a wash and my attempt to cut the carbs and sugar for a week was done. Not happening. Nice try, but this fat butt is here to stay for awhile.
Monday- Zero.
Tuesday- 7.1 miles. John had an appointment that morning for some vaccinations so I didn't have time to run between that and getting out of work so my run had to wait until late morning. The day was heating up fast, but it wasn't too bad yet. I brought the Kia Soul with the kayak to the Silver Lake train station from which I planned to run a High St/Washington Hill Loop for 8+ miles. Planned to kayak on Silver Lake after. Should have just bagged the run and kayaked from the start. I struggled through lack of sleep, the heat and poor diet. So beat that when I got to where I could shorten the loop, I did. Only cut it short by about a mile, but anything I could do to end the torture sooner was better than nothing. 7.1 miles in 57:42. 8:07/mi avg pace. 659ft of elevation gain.
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9am appt is way too early for this kid. Haha |
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High St in Silver Lake |
You couldn't get me on the lake fast enough. Paddling out into a cool breeze felt so good! The way back, not so much. Stagnant air and black flies made it less pleasant...but still better than running. Only paddled 2.1 miles.
It was near 90 degrees so I didn't make John go for a walk. I still had to get the dogs out, though, but my brain was so tired that I couldn't think of a quiet/no people place. I was headed into Fryeburg to pick up beer at Saco River Brewing and finally remembered the Railroad Bed Trail in Center Conway by Conway Lake's beach. How I'd never actually walked on the whole thing is beyond me, but today was the day. I did the first well-maintained loop that Pine Tree School uses then managed to find the original loop that I assume is now defunct since it doesn't look like it's been maintained in 10+years. I was only able to follow it because old, barely visible blazes still existed. Found old broken bog bridges, walked through thorns and the bog... but I made it through the whole loop. Pretty neat trail for a short walk. Perfect for what I was looking for today. Picked up my beer and got just a few groceries at the grocery store in Fryeburg since it was my only option with the dogs in the car. I could actually leave the car running with the air conditioning cranked while went in there. Perks to rural Maine.
Wednesday- Zero miles. Just couldn't do it. I ended up with a partner at work I don't really dislike, but I don't like working with, but luckily Matt Leavitt (on Conway Fire) was training with us half the day since he's working there per diem. It was so nice to have a buddy to hang out with instead of my partner. We had one good call. I didn't do anything other than drive the two of them and the patient to Frisbie Hospital. Not a single call after that the rest of shift. I was thankful for that since I didn't actually want to do a call with my partner. Luckily this was the only day I have to work with him.
Thursday- 4.1 miles. Had to rush home from work to go to work. Haha. Off at Action at 7am and at Memorial at 9am. I would have worked the whole 8 hour shift but John's haircut was that afternoon. I had to drop him off since I wasn't allowed in. Took the dogs for a very short walk while he was in there. He looked SO different when I picked him up. He was loving the cut since he picked it out himself. He had decided on bangs since he said he was self-conscious about his forehead. He got sick of the bangs quickly, though, and now wears them in a clip at home. Haha.
Friday- 5.1 miles. Since I'd already conceded to a shitty run week, I should have just skipped this, but since I was up early before the Club Motorsports detail, I thought it would be cooler and a decent run. No. It wasn't. Not at all. Like 90% humidity. It was gross. Suffered through the 5.1 miles around Conway in 41:54, 8:09/mi avg pace. Nearly flat and could barely run. Ok. 200ft of elevation gain total, but it was still nearly flat.
I had a great partner at work that day. She was super cool so we got along great. First time any of my partners have ever taken a walk with me at lunch. Most EMTs are out of shape, never exercise and on the verge of their first coronary. Haha. We had a lot in common so she was easy to talk to. 20 years younger than me, but she acted more like 34. The track can be super boring so it helps to have good partners there.
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Maddie during our walk at lunch |
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Got one of the "Audrey II" masks today. Haha. |
The track closed early so John and I took the dogs on a 1.5 mile walk in the Albany Town Forest when I got home. It was so hot out that the dogs needed cooling off in the river.
Saturday- 6.4 miles. I had to go to the transfer station with the start of all the crap I'm finally getting rid of. Today's haul was crappy lawn mower number 1. Haha. I had ordered a brand new one from Lowe's for pick-up that morning so I expected it to be ready by the time I finished my run. So I chose my run to be close by to both the dump and Lowe's. I decided to run the Conway Rec Path and a loop on the Kennett mountain bike trail that John and I had found the week before. I was starting to feel better after ditching the stupid diet and not worrying about this week's miles. The low miles actually felt great. It was a fun trail to run. I was passing the track on the way back to the Conway Rec Path so I decided to do one 400m just to break it up. I didn't run fast, only a quick pace in 94 sec. Continued on my way down the trail back to my car. 6.4 miles in 59:21. 9:14/mi avg pace. Only 379ft of elevation gain so this run was pretty slow for me. Surprised that I hadn't received any notice that my lawnmower was ready for pick-up. Kind of messed up my plans for the day since I was going to mow. It would end up not being ready until the next morning. Should have just walked in and bought it since pick-up the next day took over 20 minutes. The place was swamped so it made sense and why I didn't want to go inside in the first place.
We took a walk in the Bolles Reserve that afternoon. Only ran into a group of 4 people. That is even rare out there. Walked to Heron Pond first and then on to Chocorua Lake via the Lake Trail. 2.5 miles.
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Chill turned into part Corgie |
Sunday- 7.8 miles. Today was a 180 from the rest of the week. It was actually cold out so my run up Mt Chocorua was perfect! I got out early since I was working at Memorial at 1pm and wanted to have time to pick up the lawnmower, too. I parked at the Hammond Trail where I was angry to find a car that had arrived before me. Haha. It would turn out to be the people who stayed overnight in the cabin. I only heard them as I went by. I lucked out to still only run into 2 guys running down the Liberty Trail so the rest was all to myself. I felt pretty out of shape since this is the first long climb I'd done for months. Most of my uphills have been short. Longer ones were gradual. It was a great day to run up this out of shape, though, since the cold air made it better. I only stopped a handful of times so maybe a total of 2 minutes and still only ran the whole thing 2 minutes slower than my fastest time ever via this route. Of course, looking at the description of that run in 2015, I described it as a "slow, easy run". Haha. I hate my former self. The hatred just stems from jealousy. But the joke's on her. She didn't know yet that she only had one month left before it all came crashing down. The injury that ruined everything. Take that, 2015 self!
I didn't stay long at the summit since it was really windy and freezing. I had to put on gloves since my hands went numb fast. Not sure where my brain was on the way down. Having run down Liberty/Hammond numerous times and never once taking the Brook Trail, I bombed right past the sign and headed down the Brook Trail. Of course I didn't realize I was in unfamiliar territory until I had gone down a steep, rough section. I turned around and headed back up, but then turned dumb again and thought, "No, this IS the trail," and turned around and headed back down it to a ledge that I knew I'd never seen before. It was confirmed when I saw a painted white arrow on a rock that I knew for sure wasn't on the Liberty Trail so I ran back up again and realized where I went wrong. Crazy how you can still get off course even on a trail you think you know by heart. 1:59:08. 2,991ft of elevation gain. GPS actually lost about .3 or .4 at the end but whatever.
Picked up the lawnmower after. Took almost an hour total just with the driving and the slow pick-up. I was rushed to shower and get to Memorial for my 4 hour shift in the Security Jeep. Haha. The person I replaced ended up leaving the headlights on all day and killed the battery so it had to be jumped before I could drive it back to its space for the night. Haha.
(I'm actually writing this part of the blog from the Jeep right now. Tough job. Haha.)
No walks today. I spent an hour putting the lawnmower together when I got home, and John swept and mopped the whole house while I was at work. So it was beer time. I looked at my practical sheets. As in, I looked at them over there from way over here. The stress of it was too much so I did absolutely no studying of them that night... and the exam was in one week.
June 1-7- 39.8 miles. I seriously never looked at total mileage until it was too late or I would have done the last .2 to make it 40 miles for the week. This week's low mileage at least wasn't because I felt bad, but really just due to being super busy. The Tuesday morning call ended up leaving me with a much shorter run than planned. And I was way too tired to get up and run on Wednesday morning since Monday night also meant a short night of sleep. Plus, I was SO stressed out leading up to the practical. There was no room for stressing about hitting 50 miles on top of stressing over my practical exam. Once Tuesday got screwed up, I had to let it go and just do what I could.
Monday- Zero miles. I'll be honest that it's bumming me out with the zero mile days. In North Conway I could at least run during work out back on the trail. I need to come up with a solution because it's tough to fit 50 miles into 5 days when I'm also working other days AND I need to be a mom, too. Maybe it's just a matter of commitment to myself to get up at least Monday or Wednesday and run at least 3 miles. 3 miles doesn't make much of a difference, but if I get in the routine, then I can add on a mile or 2 at some point. I knew going back to work in the OVMA would be tough on me. I feel like now that I'm no longer stressing out about my AEMT practical that I will be able to figure something out.
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My partner, Joel, disinfecting our ambulance with HALT |
Tuesday- 6.5 miles. Already mentioned this run before. Ran from the hospital through Whitaker Woods and then completed the WMMs virtual race. "No Fun" Fun Run. 21:53. Ran a really easy cool down. Took a short walk from home through the neighborhood and back through the Waldorf School property back home. Only 1.1 miles.
Speaking of the Waldorf School, they're closing and the property is up for sale. EEEK! My property is odd in that it doesn't border either of my neighbors. The Waldorf property surrounds me on 3 sides and Coleman's on the other. So this makes me nervous. The brook will make a natural barrier on 2 sides, but whomever buys the land could easily develop it up to the brook, ruining our woods. I'm really hoping Tin Mountain buys it since they border Waldorf on two sides. Just don't know if they can afford it.
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Chasing John |
That morning, I noticed John had fallen asleep before he ate his last hot dog. It was still sitting on the plate. When I came out of the shower, the plate was empty! I have no idea what happened to the hot dog!
Our manager brought me the Leatherman Raptors I won in the raffle during EMS week. So psyched. These cost $70. Score.
Middle of the night, I was cursing having to get up to go cover the line while our Tamworth truck was out on a 911. Jeff and I were parked in a church parking lot struggling to keep our eyes open. Mine were actually closed when I heard Jeff ask what he was looking at. I open my eyes to see a centipede of lights going across the sky. What in the actual fuck? We were both freaking out. But I knew there had to be a logical explanation so I Googled it. And sure enough... we had just seen the Starlink satellites! Put up by SpaceX to provide broadband to the world in 2021. I was fascinated. I'd heard of it but never read about it in detail. What a neat experience we had just had. Made the line covering worth it that night.
Thursday- 12 miles. Got Tuesday's planned run in today. Out of work on time and drove right to Pine Hill Rd for an out and back to Bayle Mt. Another perfect weather day. Black flies kicked me off the summit. I love Bayle Mt. It holds a special place in my heart from a good memory of a good day up there so long ago now. But the summit always brings back that happy feeling. I actually felt decent on this run.
This was the same day that John and Bryan got together. Phoenix and I walked a total of 2.9 miles while they were hanging out.
Friday- 8.1 miles. Tough getting up and running 8 miles before coffee, but I had to get it in before my Club Motorsports shift. It was slow, but I felt as good as I'm going to feel early morning. Haha. Ran Cranmore Shores and Tasker Hill Rd out-and-back. 1:06:34. 8:12/mi avg pace. 645ft of elevation gain.
I had another new Great Brook partner at the track. Crazy because he turned out to be Christin Doneski's neighbor, but here's the funnier part. When I walked into my IV/Medication Bolus station during my practical, the evaluator and I were chatting before I started. Turned out that he was my Friday partner's father... and also Christin's neighbor! Haha. So funny.
The track was super boring today and wicked hot. Luckily we ended the day early... just before the torrential downpour. I let my partner head back (long drive!) while I drove down to Ossipee Corner to get fuel at Irving and mothballs at Walgreen's. My supervisor asked me to put mothballs in the ambulance after I found mouse poop in it today. OMG, the mothballs smelled SO BAD. I busted my supervisor at Action, Wayne, in his secret hiding place in the fly car on my drive back. Haha.
Friday night. 2nd to last night before the practical. So I studied. I felt like I had it memorized, but I was still freaking out.
Saturday- 9.2 miles. I needed quiet trails to run on today. No time to do a mountain run. Plus, I didn't want to see people. And I didn't want to run in North Conway. Bolles Reserve was my next best choice. Decided to do two loops (minus one section in the second loop). It was SO HUMID. I had had to wait until this weird thunderstorm passed so when I got out there it was really humid and sunny. I was drenched in sweat and suffering during the first loop. As soon as I started the 2nd loop dark clouds moved in and a cool breeze started blowing. Such relief. Then all of a sudden, with a 1.5 miles to go, the sky opened up and it started pouring rain. Omg. It felt SO good. That's the kind of rain I like to run in. It was awesome. 9.2 miles in 1:43:19. 1,743ft elevation gain.
Knowing I had my practical the next morning, I made sure to procrastinate in studying most of the day. Decided to do another dump run with the 2nd lawn mower and the two junk side tables that had been in John's room. (Next to go would be 3 mattresses, but I had to pay our neighbors who do junk removal to take those yesterday since I couldn't fit them in my car. Worth the $150 to get rid of that stuff. Would have cost me $75 in fees at the dump anyway).
I still had to make sure John and the dogs got in a walk so we just drove over to Coleman's and walked to the base of B&M Ledge. I'd actually never walked this way so it was cool to see the Ledge from its base.
Finally sat down that night and did some cramming. Watched all the EMT Prep videos on YouTube one last time. I felt like I had it all in my head, but I was SO worried I'd freeze and forget it all. I was terrified. I made sure to go to bed early so I was ready for the 4:30am wake up. I had to pass. I had to! I couldn't let this keeping hanging over my head any longer. Luckily, this was the last night I will ever have to stress over the AEMT practical exam.
Sunday- 3.8 miles. I've pretty much already been over this day. Got up at 4:30am. Showered. Left at 5:30am. Spent the first hour of the drive replaying all of the EMT Prep videos. After that, I went over most stations in my head. I arrived at NH Fire Med in Nashua 20 minutes early. They didn't open the door until 5 minutes beforehand so I looked over my sheets again. I saw a lot of people arriving for the exam. It would end up being mostly paramedics there. There were only two of us doing the Advanced practical and one girl for some Basic EMT stations that she was retaking and would end up failing again. Poor girl. The anxiety of these tests really affects a lot of people. Plus role playing without a real patient is hard.
Once we got started, the other AEMT and I were hitting stations boom, boom, boom. I only had time to take a sip of water in between. This was a blessing in disguise. Gave me no time to stop and worry. Only had two pauses towards the end. And finally my last two stations were a breeze. The most nerve-wracking trauma assessment station during your Basic practical was my second to last and I was ready. I knew that would be a breeze. My last station was cardiac arrest/AED, another Basic practical station and another easy one. Then I had to wait almost 20 minutes to be told that I passed!! Yay!
I already told you the rest of the day, and that ends the week!
This last week did have a sad note. Back when I first became an Army spouse (2004), I found two message boards for military spouses that I became active in. One was Household Six and the other MilSpouse. I've kept in touch with quite a few of these women over the years. Sadly, a vibrant, intelligent, healthy woman in her 50s to whom I'd always looked up passed away suddenly due to a stroke last weekend. Valerie Cole-James was the epitome of intelligence and class. Most of us looked up to her as one of our role models as a spouse. I'm still in shock she's gone. Much like Beth, she lived life to the fullest and died too young. I know her family is heartbroken.