The biggest news of the last 2.5 weeks... I passed my written AEMT test! I drove up to this small educational center in Whitefield on Tuesday, May 5th. Crazy realizing I haven't driven farther than Ossipee to the south, Fryeburg to the east, Bartlett to the north and Sandwich to the west since I don't know when. So this drive up north through Crawford Notch was actually very relaxing. I got to the test site super early feeling pretty relaxed... until this grungy looking guy parked right next to me in the old, stinky truck. Just another person with no sense of personal space. He reminded me of someone who would work at Bartlett-Jackson Ambulance. Haha. I was annoyed, but walked to the entrance where I had to call and wait to be let in. While waiting, I then had to endure this guy getting out of his truck and start whistling!! Of all things to endure right before my written test. I couldn't escape into the building fast enough. Tangent...
Have I mentioned that in my blog before? I'm almost 100% sure I have. It's something that will send me into a fit of anger almost immediately. Sometimes doubled-over blocking my ears. If a sound could ever be considered painful, that's what whistling is to me. Literal pain to my ears! I have no idea why this is. I have no explanation for it, but I do know that both my sister (with whom I did not grow up) and my niece (whom I only saw once a year her whole childhood) can't stand it either. And they aren't even related by blood! People think it's such an oddity when I tell them that, but I run into other people regularly who can't deal with it either. I've literally had to leave stores and other places to get away from it. It's that bad. I wish people who whistled understood that their ear-piercing sound is really irritating to other people. But anyway...
So now I'm not just starting to get nervous about the test, I'm also worried this guy is going to come in the test room with me and start whistling. My nightmare. When I signed the sheet, I noticed someone else was scheduled to be in there with me. And sure enough it was this guy! He came into the test room about 5 minutes after I started. And then he proceeded to leave 10 minutes later. Literally. I don't know what test would take that little time, but I was happy to have the room to myself and, thankfully, no whistling. Haha.
The test is a computer based test. I must have been more nervous than I realized because I felt like I didn't have a clue the first 4 questions. I literally told myself that I should just quit and walk out now. I wasn't going to pass. But then I got a question I knew 100% and then another and I just got into a groove. It just got easier and easier. There was no med math! I only had to use the scrap paper once. I felt like I was blowing through it. About a 1/3 of the questions were the same exact questions as two separate practice tests I took. I spent about one hour and 45 minutes on the 135 question test. When I finished, my first thought was that the test had been easy and that I definitely passed. It didn't take long to psych myself out of that though. By the time I got home a little over an hour later, I was already convinced that because I thought it was easy and I must have passed, then that meant I definitely failed it. Haha. Anybody who has taken a National Registry EMT test knows what I'm talking about. It feels like nothing but a mind game. Haha. The Fire Department Chronicles on Facebook makes the FUNNIEST videos. Here's one about the NREMT tests. It's so accurate.
After telling everyone that I definitely failed the test, I was in the ambulance doing a truck check with Scott and Chris when I saw my examination had been scored. I had to click on that to see the pass or fail. I closed my eyes and clicked on it. I passed!!
Even though I still have to take the practical exam (my utter nightmare), because of Covid-19, most practical exams had to be cancelled. The NREMT decided to offer provisional certifications for people who had passed the written exam. New Hampshire followed suit to offer provisional licenses. So now I'm an officially licensed Advanced EMT. It expires at the end of October unless I pass my practical. I'll admit that while it's nice to have the license, I do feel like a fraud. And I'm once again questioning my ability to be an AEMT. I feel like being a Basic EMT for almost 9 years has actually made this harder for me. I now have to be in a different mindset. And my first call trying to do this on Monday night, left me feeling pretty inadequate and not confident. It's not that I did anything wrong exactly, but after going back over it in my head, there was SO MUCH I could have done better. I was really glad that Chris (paramedic) showed up and took control. This was really helpful for future calls as an A. What kills me, though, is that I've done so much better all-around patient care as a basic than tonight. I think most of it is nerves and trying to overthink so much that it's actually making things worse. I do wish I had a different partner on Mondays now. We're both brand new AEMTs. It would benefit both of us to be with more experienced people. I'm not sure what will happen with that, though. But I'm honestly not super confident right now. Maybe I'm not meant to be anything better than a Basic EMT. Yeah, yeah, I know. "You'll be fine." I definitely hope so, but I'm not convinced.
Speaking of work, it's been going pretty well otherwise. Not too much to share. I'm still liking Action Ambulance. I am starting to see the cliqueiness and drama that consume this field, but that was expected. Just hoping I can stay out of it. I don't like getting involved in all of that. Also starting to see the typical laziness you also see in this field. It's a little more enforced here in some aspects, but not others. Not complaining, though. I like working here. Ok...except the one thing that I can't get over. That lack of women's clothing! I finally got to the point of ordering my own shirt. Same exact style and color, but different brand and a poly/cotton blend and a WOMEN'S small. Sucks I have to pay for it out of my pocket, but I seriously can't wear my current shirt much longer. I had a funny idea yesterday on how to improve the uniform. I sent it to Marissa so we could be twinsies at work. I thought it was a good idea. It would probably increase revenue for the company, too.
Cute dress, right? Hahaha. But seriously, THAT is the shirt I have to wear. Spending my own money is going to be worth it. Haha. And speaking of Marissa. We hope to be a girl truck some day. This is just us pulling the truck out of the bay. Haha. I'm on the phone with Jeff in the back. Haha.
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| Marissa pretending to drive the International, our transfer truck. |
I'm kind of over the virtual racing thing for a bit. At first they were motivating, but after sucking at nearly all of them, I'm taking a break. I was super intrigued to come across a different virtual running thing, though. It wasn't about racing, but elevation gain! I signed right up. Even PAID for it which is not something I'd typically do for a virtual event, but the VERTual Challenge put on by Steep Endurance. How much elevation gain can you get in one week. That sounded really motivating and challenging so I was excited. Going into it, I knew I would be at a disadvantage working the two 24-hour shifts and an 8-hour shifts so I just made a personal goal of hitting 20,000ft of elevation gain. This turned out to be a lot harder than I expected especially when I had to cram almost all of that into 5 days instead of 7. I did extra on Tuesday and Thursday to make up for it, but that left my legs trashed on Wednesday and Friday. After Thursday, I was all set just doing some of my regular runs and hitting 20,000ft. I ended up hitting 20,744ft and got in 51 miles. Since 50 is my usual mileage goal, I was happy to hit that with ease. Definitely a good challenge, physically and mentally. The latter I failed with on Thursday when the black flies became unbearable and I cut my "run" short.
Day 1
This challenge at least motivated me enough to get up on a Monday morning which is super rare. 4:22am of twenty Tabor Hill repeats. It was actually perfect weather. I got to watch the sunrise as I hit the top of the hill every repeat. Couldn't see my watch well enough to see it said 4.96 and not 4.66 when I stopped it. Haha. My GPS screwed me out of some of the elevation. Should have been closer to 1100ft, but oh well. Didn't really matter since I was already behind the leaders by over 5000ft by the end of the day. The only way I could have caught up would be to do 10,000+ft on Tuesday and that wasn't happening. I swear some of these people are out of work or work from home with no other obligations, and I was fine with that. It was a struggle for me just to make the time to get in over 20,000ft.
(Chris is freaking out right now! Chris just found his paperwork!)
Day 2
Today was super challenging on my legs. I decided to do it all from home in my backyard up Heavenly Hill so that I could take the dogs for the first repeat, run 7 more solo, then take a break to get John up, make him food and eat something. Worked out great. Went back out for another 5 repeats. Had John and the dogs join me for the last one. My biggest day of the week in both mileage and elevation gain. 14.3 miles. 6,268ft of elevation gain.
Day 3
Yeah, that wasn't happening. My legs were junk. Plus, getting up at 4am on Monday morning combined with going out over night at work Monday night meant that extra hour of sleep Wednesday morning was far more beneficial than a run. Plus it gave my legs a rest to be ready for big gain on Thursday.
Day 4
Definitely the most mentally challenging. I had planned to run up a ski slope from Cranmore's base, but when I got there, I changed my mind. Koessler would get me more bang for my buck. I forgot just how painful it would be. I decided to add on all the way to the Meister Hut for each repeat. Koessler is about a 37% grade so that meant more powerhiking than running. Started out ok. Planned to do 12 repeats. By repeat 4, it had warmed up quite a bit and the black flies started swarming. It just got worse and worse. Luckily it was short and I had a cool breeze and no flies on the way down. But back up and by number 7 I had to coach myself out loud, "You got this. You can get through 10. Just do 10." Literally talked my way through it even after literally sucking in 5 black flies. I got through the 10. It was super tough. My legs were J-ello. And I just wanted to get out of the black fly swarm. I didn't hit my 6,000ft goal, but 5,200ft wasn't bad. Haha.
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| Gained so much weight. Gross, but whatever. Haha. |
Day 5
I worked my last shift at the hospital from 9-5 so my run had to be short. The sky was super dark with thunderstorms pending, but I managed to beat it. Drove over to Cathedral Ledge to do 4 repeats of the climber's trail. I knew it was just over 500ft so I planned 4 repeats. This turned out to be the easiest repeat of the week. Only 3.1 miles and just over 2000ft of elevation gain. Not bad after working 8 hours. I actually might do this one again to continue getting back into shape for mountain running.
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| God, I look so old. How did that happen?! Nice deer in the headlights look, too. Haha. |
Saturday and Sunday were planned as just regular local mountain runs with enough elevation gain to get me to 20,000ft. I planned on Bartlett Mt/Mt Kearsarge North, but the secret parking was closed and then hoards of people were in the Kearsarge lot. I changed my plans and parked in the completely empty water tank lot. Ran Red Tail up Black Cap. Back down to Cranmore, down the service road where I ran into Donna Cormier and Laura Holtby. Talked to them for a bit then continued on to the bottom. Ran back up the Jen's Friends course to the top of Cranmore then back up the trail to Kettle Ridge. Down that to Sendero and back to the car. Exact same elevation as the Bartlett/Kearsarge run would have been, but 4 miles longer. Helped me get to 51 for the week so I wasn't complaining. Way too many people on the trail. I didn't even stop on the summit of Black Cap. Saw a group of 8 people. Wtf. This is really bothering me still!
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| Yep. Still look old. |
Day 7
I only needed just over 2600ft of gain to hit 20,000. I actually got out early for once and was on the trail by 8:15am. Still didn't make in time to get a space in the Thompson Rd lot, but then I was like, "Duh." Not sure why I haven't been doing this all along, but I drove over to Cranmore and parked in the completely empty old fitness center lot and ran up to the mountain trails from there. Ran Middle and Peaked Mountains twice. I did this over the winter. Since these are my favorite mountains, they never get old. Enjoyed the double loop. Beautiful day. Got more gain than I needed and ran one mile more than mile goal for the week.
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| Might have to start using the triple photo filter to make myself look young again. Haha. |
I know I started the blog with the VERTual Challenge week instead of the week before. So here's the week before. Purposely did an easy, low miles week. I had the final virtual race in the Run Free Grand Prix this week. The half marathon. I had already taken two zeros Monday and Wednesday. Got in a good run right after work on Tuesday, May 3. Did the Green Mt x3 run. Gorgeous morning and no people. 8.2 miles. 3,513ft of elevation gain. Good run the in morning before my AEMT test.
I probably made a terrible choice for the half marathon by going back to the Mountain Division Trail in Fryeburg. It was one full out-and-back and one partial out-and-back. I was doing okay the first 8 which brought me back to my car where I dropped my hat and gloves. Stupidly, I forgot that with a hard effort I would need fueling. I turned right around into a strong headwind and was depleted from having no gels. Gave up instantly. So the last 5 miles were really fucking slow. The headwind and no energy just made it awful. 1:33:43 for the half. Haha. Pretty sure that's my worst half marathon in over 10 years. These virtual races just aren't for me. I just don't have it in me mentally. And physically, I'm still a mess. Tendons were dying after that. Not just that, but the weight gain has been bad. I was still at the point I didn't care, but as I'm writing this over 2 weeks later, it's definitely time to drop the Covid 7. I could feel my heavy body on this run. 7lbs is HUGE when it comes to speed.
Took the next day off of running and did an intense Peloton HIIT & Hills workout with Robin on my spin bike. That felt amazing. Kicking myself for not being able to get up and on the spin bike on Mondays, but the job change has left me more tired. We end up out overnight at least one night of the week so that extra hour of sleep instead of working out makes a huge difference.
I got out on the trails Sunday for a run from home up B&M Ledge and Whitton Ledge. I love these little known places where I can run from home. 7.5 miles. A good way to end the week in preparation for the VERTual Challenge starting the next day.
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| Whitton Pond and Mt Chocorua. That pine tree has grown to the point where it's blocking Chocorua's summit in my photo now. |
Of course, there was more going on than just running. John and I got out for some walks as always.
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| Walk in the backyard |
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| Random trail off Ledge Pond Rd |
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| Walked up Kettle Ridge then down Sendero |
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| John picking up his things from school. So sad. |
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| Chill in Jackman Pond. Took a walk on the Jackman Pond Trail after leaving John's school. |
Other random photos:
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| My favorite flowers bloomed! |
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| Scott and I were on a fire scene with West Ossipee. Cool old truck. |
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| Took Scott to the spring in Sandwich. He was so excited. |
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| Oh so NOW we can take home the good beer. Hopefully they stop withholding the good beer for take-home forever. Disclaimer: the beer wasn't open yet. I was pretending. |
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| Peaking in hoping I'm awake. Ignore the laundry basket. Haha |
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| Finished up my run to find someone else who doesn't understand personal space. Empty lot and they park pretty much right next to me. What is wrong with people? |
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| Chill on Heavenly Hill |
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| Pretty afternoon on Heavenly Hill. Brought up a new log book to replace the old one that disappeared. |
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| Cute beer label from Norway Brewing |
My parents sent me an Amazon gift certificate for my birthday so I finally bought myself a good stethoscope. I've needed one for awhile, but I figured having my A meant a good time to actually do it.
So I guess I'm all out of sorts. This feels like the most disorganized post ever. I had more to say, but it's hard to put it in words. I was doing ok while we were in "lockdown", but now that things are opening up, I'm feeling less ok. Just sad at the state of things. How disappointed I am in people. I don't even want to be near anyone outside of John and work. May 11th, the State started opening up and people are acting like it's all over. Just pick a date and poof it's all gone! Because that's how pandemics work. All of a sudden, everyone is out and about like nothing happened. Like it's all over. People are fucking EVERYWHERE. I'm being glared at by people at Walmart while wearing a mask. I'm just so beside myself at how ignorant most people are. I want to be away from people more than ever right now. It's not that I hope they are all wrong. I hope they're right and that everything is ok now, but how can that be? The virus didn't just disappear. I feel like the stay at home orders definitely kept its spread at bay, but now I'm worried about that 2nd wave. But I feel like I'm surrounded by people not taking it seriously. Bitching about mask wearing and other stupid, ignorant shit. Most of it fueled by the biggest scumbag, Donald Trump. I'm so discouraged in the future of this country. Our eyes have been opened to just how many stupid people there are here. Such a lack of intelligence.
I'm just kind of waiting this reopening out. I'm definitely not going to eat at a restaurant anytime soon. Fuck that. I still love the take-out, though. I could use a haircut, but I'm going to wait since I don't really need one. John is actually getting one next week. I'm not worried, though. The salon is doing everything right. The nail salon is opening June 1st. I'm dying to get my nails done. They're so bad right now. But that I just can't do it yet. Even though the employees have always worn masks, I'm just not ready to share that space with all of the other customers' hands.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel the Dirty Girl Trail Race. I'll be honest; I just don't feel like dealing with it. Still too much uncertainty. I just can't quite get myself to pull the trigger yet, though. I feel like all of my decisions will be made mid-June. One month after reopening. If we've had no surge in Covid cases, then I'll be good to start reentering society. But until then, I'm keeping to myself as much as possible. The leaves have come in on the trees so my house is back to being completely out of view of the road giving me a feeling of relief every time I disappear down the driveway away from the outside world.
All that being said, I'm not living in fear. I'm not afraid. I'm just living cautiously. I don't want to get this virus. I also don't want to be someone who spreads it to others. Why not keep that distance for just a little longer?
My thoughts on all of this were much more concise a few days ago. I guess I'm just tired and can't think straight. I should close this and go to bed, but I'm not ready yet because I feel like I'm forgetting something.
I finally made the decision to get my diet under control and to get back into strength training. It's time. I'm not really sure how it's going to work out, though. I want to go back to what I was doing before, but I'm not sure how it will go with so much running. It may just be cutting out the sugar and just not overdoing it with the carbs. My body did well eating mostly gluten-free. Not that I have a gluten intolerance, but I found I was less bloated eating it minimally. I haven't brought up the intestinal issue for a long time in the blog. It's pretty much been fine, but I did notice it was even better while eating less carbs. You may be wondering why I'm doing this again since it seemed to fail the first time. But it didn't. Life just took a crazy course. My AEMT course and then the extra jobs and just not feeling like cooking anymore with such little time and so much free food available. It just took a backseat. But now I'm ready to go back to it... but with something more sustainable. Not sure what that is exactly yet, though. Haha.
Ok. Gotta end this. I promise I'll do better next time. My brain is just too scrambled right now.
