Friday Night Vertical 2021

Friday Night Vertical 2021

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

2019 Eastern States 20-Mile Race

 Mile 10. Photo by Richie Blake 
I'll just cut to the chase and say that Eastern States 20 did not go well at all! However, I'm actually fine with it. It's taken me long enough to get it through my thick skull that I have to quit long distance road racing/running. I can't do it. All of those hopes for 2019 to run another sub-3 in the fall have faded and with it my give-a-fuck. Sunday was that pivotal moment. My body can't take it anymore. I ended up in so much excruciating pain in both tendons by mile 12 that it took everything I had just to finish the race. I haven't had that much tendon pain since my DNF at Vermont City Marathon last May. And I felt it around the same time as I did in that race. By mile 4, I was hurting more than I should have. By mile 8, I was in some serious pain. By 12, like I said, I was in agony. I must have changed my form due to the pain because I all of a sudden felt bad low back pain. And then a crampy feeling in my lower abdomen that I thought was just my intestinal issues, but turned out to be muscular and took 2 days to go away. I was a mess from mile 12 to 20. I wanted to quit SO badly!! Just like Vermont, but I was smart enough to stop there. Had this been a marathon, though, I would have dropped. I would never have been able to continue another 6.2 miles with the pain I was in.

I tried to wrap my head around why all of sudden this painful. Was it just a bad day? Was it because it was a mostly flat course? Was it because I worked a 34 hour shift Wed-Thurs? Is it because I'm out of shape? Are my shoes worn out?  I don't know. Could be all of those.

Running on flat road for a long period of time has been the most painful running for me since I got this injury (and now I'm regretting not doing the hilly Frank Nealon 15K instead of ES20).

I was in extreme hip pain by the end of my shift Thursday. I forgot how unhealthy the Tamworth base is and how I was always in pain after working there. No comfortable place to sit. My hips and tendons were pretty sore for my run after the shift was over. I ended up rolling out the hips the next day and that pain went away, but the tendons felt pretty painful even then.

I was wearing my Topo Athletic Fli-Lyte 2 shoes. The same ones I wore at Hartford and Baystate. With my time off running, they sat for months and only had 142 miles on them by the start of ES20, so I don't think it was a factor.

It's a fact I'm out of shape. My previous shape. And like clockwork, I've put on my end of March/early April 5lbs. I think last year was the only year I haven't put on this weight, but that was only because my new-at-the-time intestinal issues were a factor. I think my body has adjusted to that issue now. Just look at the photo and you can see I'm on the heavier side for me. And it's not just the few extra pounds, but also my inability to train at higher speed on the road since I started back running in late December.

Although I went into the race with no plan to actually race, I did start off too fast for the first two miles. It was nothing crazy. Just under 7-min pace, but I had no desire to run any of this race under 7 min pace so I dialed it back after mile 2. I wanted to run comfortably today and only run my race. I didn't care about my place or who passed me. This was more of an ability test for Boston than a race for me. But I did get caught up in it at the beginning. I was in the low 7s. I did actually go under 7 for mile 5, but it was mostly downhill. Miles 1,3 and 5 were my fastest in 2015 and then the same this year so at least it followed the same pattern.

Even though I started to feel the tendon pain more than I should have by mile 4, I was still able to average around 7:10 pace through miles 3-8. But it was mile 8 where the pain increased greatly. Although the weather was gorgeous, the west wind was quite strong at times. The course follows the coastline so the course would turn facing the west a few times. Never for a very long time, but it was in mile 8 when we turned into it for a slightly longer stretch, and I struggled. I had nothing on that wind. I've mentioned before that with this injury, I really can't run against a strong wind. I tried to push it, though, and I think that's why I was suddenly in more pain. I was thankful for the turn back to the south. Going off my memory, I think the wind was similar to 2015 when I ran a 2:11:11. It didn't bother me much then because I was completely healthy and in the best shape of my life. But now, any headwind just destroys me. But, honestly, I'd still call the wind at Sunday's race mild since we weren't running against it for the majority of the race. It was really just one stretch in mile 8 that affected me.

I started to really slow by this point. I was getting passed before, but it was in mile 9 that they really started coming. It didn't bother me, though. I was more worried about even finishing. I hit the 10 mile mark in 1:10:38. Richie Blake was there doing the timing and took the only photo I like from the race (the one above). He was sitting in a chair looking comfortable. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to stop running and just hang out there with Richie. The pain was getting worse and worse. I didn't want to be in pain, but I also didn't want to quit either! Not this time! I had to finish this one. So on I went.

The second half of the race was just sheer pain and thoughts of Boston running through my head. How can I finish Boston if I can barely finish this?! I think that's one of the reasons I kept going. To get the 20 in to prove to myself I could still make it to 20. The course was also so beautiful and I didn't want to miss the stretch along the wide open coastline. I saw two women taking a walk and wished I was just out for a nice walk instead of this painfest. Haha. My pace continued to slow at a rapid rate for the second half. My last mile under 8 minutes was mile 16. The last 4 jumped up into the 8s with my slowest mile being mile 19 at 8:24. 8:24 normally feels like an easy jog, but with the pain I was in, it was a huge struggle. I did come close to getting back under 8 for mile 20 with an 8:03, though. I remember actively making an attempt to speed up so I would break 2:30 (I didn't). I crossed the 20 mile mat in 2:28:38. I had just run the second 10 miles of the course exactly 18 minutes slower than the first!! Yikes. The last .2 miles I thought about the last time I was here. I was on a high. I was about to finish one of the best road races of my life. I was on my way up. Today, it was just about crossing the line. 2:30:39. 7:27 avg pace. Looking at 7:27 alone doesn't seem bad, but looking at the splits, you can see it's horrifying. Full Results

About to end the pain

Got a sunburn!
I was lucky to run into Jennifer Mortimer (who won!), Tammie Robie and Ernst Linder (my trail race buddy at the Trust Trailfest last year) at the finish. We shared the long and painful bus ride back to the school. Jen and Tammie are two women I've been lucky to get to know over the last 4 years. Both humble. Both having been through long, drawn-out issues. Both moms, which is huge to me in this running community where I find myself surrounded by the child-less. They get it. They've lived it. I'm really excited to see how Jennifer does at Boston, hopefully her first marathon finish! I'm excited for her after the setbacks she's been through.

Now, I have to focus on Tammie Robie. Seeing Tammie on Sunday is a huge reason for my being ok with Sunday's race and the reason I'm finally able to say goodbye to the past. I ran into Tammie pre-race. Tammie was an elite runner in her prime. She won the USATF-NE Grand Prix one year. She ran with the elite women at Boston 3 times! Then just before turning 40, the injury plague hit. And the hits just kept on coming. Every time she started coming back, another injury. Tammie is only 44, but after over 4 years of trying to get back to the past, she finally accepted this. I told her about my issues and how it's been ongoing for 2 years and how I'm just not what I was and how I'm trying to be ok with it. She told me that she had finally gotten to that place. She said it took awhile but that she had to remind herself of what she HAD done. She did all of THAT^^! What amazing trip and opportunity. She said she's finally ok with just running because she loves it. These were the words I needed to hear. It was a moment when it finally sunk in. Although my time as a faster runner was short-lived, I still did THAT! I was nominated for  2016 USATF-NE Female Athlete of the Year! I ran two sub-3 marathons! I've won more races than I could even count. I can be happy with that. So a huge thank you goes out to Tammie for being the voice I needed to hear at this point in my life.

So when I walked away from the race on Sunday, I wasn't disappointed. Ok, well disappointed that I was in so much pain! But I was ok with my race. I never looked at my place. I just didn't care. Would I love to have had the race I had in 2015? Of course! But that isn't me now. This body can't handle the pounding on the roads. I'm just not built for that and would honestly need constant care to continue it. Most people who compete at a higher level have a support system of coaches, teammates, PTs, massage therapists, health insurance for MRIs, x-rays, etc. I do feel like had I had access to just some of that it probably would have prevented where I am today, but I didn't. And won't anytime in the near future so I have to make a new plan. In lieu of quitting running, I'm ready to go back to where my body was its happiest and healthiest. The trails. The mountains. It's time to make that move back. That doesn't mean I won't do any road races. I said in the last post that I want to continue to do short distance road races and also do some speedwork on the track. But my training is going back to the trails for the most part. Who knows? Maybe this will be what heals me. I ran my fastest half marathon (1:22) without any road running. Not saying I'll ever do that again, but maybe going back to the trails will give me the healing and full body strength I need to be able to run another road marathon in the future. And maybe it won't. I have no plans right now for another road marathon after Boston. I scrapped Cape Cod (unless by some miracle I'm no longer in pain) and CIM from my calendar. And you know what? It felt good.

But, this now brings me to the Boston Marathon, less than 3 weeks away! I feel like it's nothing more than a road block to moving on with my plan. I just want to get past it at this point. I'll admit that I am sad about that. I was really looking forward to running it again. I love Boston! Now, I'm just filled with dread, and I just want to get it over with. I have no idea what to do, either! How do I run it? Should I just go out at an 8 minute pace and enjoy myself. Should I do the opposite and go out hard for as long as my body will allow it, then suffer through the last 2/3 of the race? Maybe. I really don't know. And I'm trying to figure out my plan between now and then. I'm on day 3 of zero running which was already planned. Tomorrow will be a trail run. I guess I'll just see how I feel. Maybe take a full week off. My fitness doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm just going to play it by ear for now.

Running for the Week- 50.7 miles. 1,460ft of elevation gain. Definitely on the low side.

Monday, 3/18- Zero. Finished my last week of the LIIFT4 program. Today was chest/back. Got in 10 minutes of glutes.

Tuesday, 3/19- 9.2 miles. John was home sick so I scrapped my plan to go run Hurricane Mt Rd right from work and went home first. Ran later from home to the snowmobile trail at Coleman's. Only .3 miles on the road before I was on Corridor 19A. Followed that to 19N all the way to Tasker Hill Rd then came back. The trails were very chopped up but still really good conditions for running. 1:30:57. 944ft of gain.

Wednesday, 3/20- 3 miles. Knowing I was about to work a 34 was the only reason I was motivated enough to get up and run on the treadmill. 22:13. At work, I finished up LIIFT4 with Shoulders and Arms and did 10 minutes of glutes.

Thursday, 3/21- 5.8 miles. As I mentioned before, I was in a lot of hip pain by the end of my shift. When I used to work 34s regularly, my Thursday night runs were always challenging. I ran around both aviation neighborhoods. Quite a bit of snow and ice covering the roads, along with huge piles of sand, but I still ran a decent time. 42:38. 7:20 avg pace.

Friday, 3/22- 6 miles. Since it was snowing out all morning, I got on the treadmill. Ran between 1-3% elevation. 45:33. 7:35 avg pace. I had planned 8, but I was ready to stop at 6. Still didn't feel good. Hips really hurt. It was after this run that I rolled them out. It did wonders for the hips.

Saturday, 3/23- 4 miles. Opted for an easy treadmill run since I had ES20 the next day. 31:46. 7:56 avg pace.

Sunday, 3/24- 22.6 miles. 2 mile warm-up. I actually felt pretty good. Easy in 16:31. .5 miles to the start. Still felt pretty good. 20.1 on my watch for the race.

Hikes/Walks

Tuesday- John was feeling better after being in bed half the day, but he was still pretty tired so I left him at home to run my errands (haircut and groceries) and take Phoenix on a hike. I knew today would probably be my only day to get up a mountain this week so we hiked up Middle Mt. Had the entire hike to ourselves. It was great. I was happy to find the upper part of the Middle Mt trail packed down and the trail solid. Only 3.9 miles round trip. The sun was so nice at the summit that I took some time to lie in it before it got too cold and we walked back down.





Saturday- Took John and the dogs on a walk down Potter Rd. The road was in pretty good shape, and traffic is light this time of year while the winter closure section is still buried in snow. The sun felt great, but it was still quite chilly. We walked 2.4 miles in a little over an hour.







Photos and Stuff

John's school was (unnecessarily) cancelled (for the 9th unnecessary time) on Friday due to the snow so we went out in the afternoon to hit Frontside Grind and then walk to IME. I needed some gels for Sunday's race. I was a little bummed to see they only had Clif Shot Blocks and Clif Gels, but I figured the gels would be fine. The ingredients were no different than others I had. So I bought two of them. It wasn't until we got back to the car that I realized these gels were a life changer! Haha.



THEY HAD HANDLES!!! After being spoiled with the elite water tables over the last few years, every time I had to run as a commoner (total joke so don't get offended; I have to write disclaimers now) I had no idea how to carry my gels. At Manchester I put them in my bra only to getting chafing from hell. At both Baystates, I put them in a glove which was a pain in the ass. I was trying to figure out what to do at Boston. I hate waist belts, although I've worn them there. Now, I have my solution!! I tested them out at ES20 and they are definitely the way to go. I was told the design is for a specific fuel belt, but I don't care what they were designed for. For me, they're handles for my fingers. And I didn't really mind the taste either.

I had a coupon for Cedar's Hummus so I grabbed this one. The coupon ended up not registering via their automated system, and I missed it until I got home, but I would never have found the best hummus had not at least tried to use the coupon. So good.


Oh how I love beer, but it's that time of year where I have to cut back the beer and excess sugar for a bit. Cutting back doesn't mean no beer, but it means much less beer. I'm also cutting out the candy, cookies and other sweets. I'm not being as strict as I was in 2015 when nothing could even have sugar as an ingredient, but I'm definitely cutting out the excess, except one day a week which is what I did in 2015. I'll probably do this up until Boston. I'd like to be a little bit healthier for Boston than I was at ES20. I'm not really changing the rest of my diet at all, though. It's more about cutting back instead of going crazy as I prepared for a sub-3 marathon. We all know that's not happening at Boston! Haha.


My co-worker, Zach, brought is his new puppy to work on Thursday. She is SO cute but didn't stop wiggling for photos.


Dog and John photo time...

I thought her ears looked like Gizmo's.

He wouldn't put his other ear up.

Trying to get all of us in one shot. 

Phoenix looks evil.

In her comfort cave
So kind of a short post today. There really wasn't much to share past the race. Working overtime shifts always puts a damper on my fun. Haha. Work has been pretty quiet lately since it's the slow season. No real drama anymore since I'm almost always in North Conway now. We're just one crew here so it stays mostly drama-free.

Nervous about the weeks to come, but I'm looking forward to what's beyond that for the rest of the year.


11 comments:

  1. My Gosh, I had no idea. The 2016 USATF-NE Female Athlete of the Year?? Holy Smokes, Congrats!! But damn am I proud of you for your new discovery. Run With It, HA

    The photos of John were rather entertaining for sure. In fact, all of the photos carried an entertaining quality.

    If you would allow me to offer up something, keep reading. If you are tired of everyones advice regarding your body, stop reading.

    Please research an Ortho-Bionomy Practitioner in your area. Ortho is a gentle form of body work that gives the nervous system options from repetitive trauma. Its not a one session or quick fix pill but your own brilliant body will begin to heal from within.

    Have your self a wonderful weekend, enjoy your family time, and keep on loving on those pets.
    Cheers

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    1. Thank you! I don't mind at all! I was actually very interested in this after reading what you wrote about it a few blog posts ago. I'm definitely going to seek it out. The only problem is the lack of funds. If you don't mind me asking, what do you charge per session? Thank you for all of your kind words as always!

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    2. We only have 2 practitioners in all of NE. One in Mass and one in VT. I'll still look into it. I don't mind traveling.

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    3. Hello Little L,
      I charge on a sliding scale and a few clients ask me to keep on sliding. I have charged a dollar a minute before and I normally charge $65 a session. $75 - $95 for neuromuscular massage sessions. But these rates could totally be different out on the east coast.

      If you have a practitioner in mind, let me know and I would happily call them for a quick interview. Together, we shall discover recovery.
      Lets Rock,
      Cheers

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  2. I've been waiting for your race recap. A friend of mine raced ES also, she finished a minute ahead of you. It's crazy how you see yourself in such awful shape and she is in great race shape. I'm sorry it was a horrible race filled with pain. I am happy you have come to the conclusion you love running, period. And you have your glory days to reflect on. I'm sorry they were so short, they were there and you did it and you will always have done it, be proud of what you have accomplished. Enjoy what the future holds, you are a stellar athlete who, like you said, did all this with out the support of a personal masseuse, PT on speed dial, coaches, personal trainers, etc etc. You managed it all on your own with a lot of solo runs. Frankly running solo is so fucking hard and depressing it makes it even more admirable what you accomplish. On ward and up ward! John looks like he had another growth spurt!!!

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    1. Thanks!! I remember her then. I could tell she was pushing to break 2:30.

      Yes! John has grown and grown. It's crazy!

      And yes, I'm happy with what I've done, and I think I'm ready to move on. I'd like to think I could run another road marsthma some day, but I'm definitely not going to worry about it.

      I've been reading your posts, and I'm sad you're still struggling with the symptoms. If you feel well and want to hike my race, let me know before you register. I'll have a coupon code for you. ;)

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    2. Yo Beth,
      Pleased To See You Here. Treats For Jax!!

      Big Hugs

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    3. My posts are depressing aren't they? And I try and not be, imagine how horrible I sound IRL? HA! I think I'll sign up for your race! I just can't not miss it, especially with all the drama!

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    4. Not at all! They're real. None of that fake crap. I think you make the best out of your situation which is obviously not easy. Oh and yay. I'll email you!

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  3. I’m sorry you are in such pain. I am glad to see you are finding some peace. Tammie’s words, and yours, help me also. The last few years, I’ve had health/bodystuff going on that has changed my running, knocking me from heights/speeds I never knew I could have back to where I started over 20 years ago (at best!). My times seem like dreams, and though running faster was never easy for me, it was much easier than now (my easy pace is almost 3’/mile slower than my marathon PR pace). But I hit times that still stun me, and I BQ’d in my late 40s and ran Boston 3x. (A dream since I started running) At 52, it’s getting harder to keep fighting to get back closer to what looks like it was my peak. Trying to celebrate and appreciate what I was able to do, find joy in what I can do now, and keep looking forward. Acceptance without resignation or regret, but maybe stop flogging myself - and somehow blaming myself.

    I last ran Boston in 2017 (would’ve much preferred the 2018 weather) and ran it cautiously (walked some) due to heat and health, and did so knowing it might be the last time I got to do it. I vote run easy and soak it all in, love it and feel it loving you back....finish with a smile and architect the best experience on the day for yourself so you can move on in a positive frame of mind, not in pain or anger/frustration. Grab every bit of unicorn joy and try to (as I try) remember Dr. Seuss “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

    I’ll think of you on race day. Best wishes!

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    1. Thanks so much for the comment. It's nice to hear from others going through the same thing. And I'm glad it was helpful. Sometimes we just need another person's perspective to see our own light. 🙂

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