2019 Eastern States 20-Mile Race

 Mile 10. Photo by Richie Blake 

I'll just cut to the chase and say that Eastern States 20 did not go well at all! However, I'm actually fine with it. It's taken me long enough to get it through my thick skull that I have to quit long distance road racing/running. I can't do it. All of those hopes for 2019 to run another sub-3 in the fall have faded and with it my give-a-fuck. Sunday was that pivotal moment. My body can't take it anymore. I ended up in so much excruciating pain in both tendons by mile 12 that it took everything I had just to finish the race. I haven't had that much tendon pain since my DNF at Vermont City Marathon last May. And I felt it around the same time as I did in that race. By mile 4, I was hurting more than I should have. By mile 8, I was in some serious pain. By 12, like I said, I was in agony. I must have changed my form due to the pain because I all of a sudden felt bad low back pain. And then a crampy feeling in my lower abdomen that I thought was just my intestinal issues, but turned out to be muscular and took 2 days to go away. I was a mess from mile 12 to 20. I wanted to quit SO badly!! Just like Vermont, but I was smart enough to stop there. Had this been a marathon, though, I would have dropped. I would never have been able to continue another 6.2 miles with the pain I was in.

I tried to wrap my head around why all of sudden this painful. Was it just a bad day? Was it because it was a mostly flat course? Was it because I worked a 34 hour shift Wed-Thurs? Is it because I'm out of shape? Are my shoes worn out?  I don't know. Could be all of those.

Running on flat road for a long period of time has been the most painful running for me since I got this injury (and now I'm regretting not doing the hilly Frank Nealon 15K instead of ES20).

I was in extreme hip pain by the end of my shift Thursday. I forgot how unhealthy the Tamworth base is and how I was always in pain after working there. No comfortable place to sit. My hips and tendons were pretty sore for my run after the shift was over. I ended up rolling out the hips the next day and that pain went away, but the tendons felt pretty painful even then.

I was wearing my Topo Athletic Fli-Lyte 2 shoes. The same ones I wore at Hartford and Baystate. With my time off running, they sat for months and only had 142 miles on them by the start of ES20, so I don't think it was a factor.

It's a fact I'm out of shape. My previous shape. And like clockwork, I've put on my end of March/early April 5lbs. I think last year was the only year I haven't put on this weight, but that was only because my new-at-the-time intestinal issues were a factor. I think my body has adjusted to that issue now. Just look at the photo and you can see I'm on the heavier side for me. And it's not just the few extra pounds, but also my inability to train at higher speed on the road since I started back running in late December.

Although I went into the race with no plan to actually race, I did start off too fast for the first two miles. It was nothing crazy. Just under 7-min pace, but I had no desire to run any of this race under 7 min pace so I dialed it back after mile 2. I wanted to run comfortably today and only run my race. I didn't care about my place or who passed me. This was more of an ability test for Boston than a race for me. But I did get caught up in it at the beginning. I was in the low 7s. I did actually go under 7 for mile 5, but it was mostly downhill. Miles 1,3 and 5 were my fastest in 2015 and then the same this year so at least it followed the same pattern.

Even though I started to feel the tendon pain more than I should have by mile 4, I was still able to average around 7:10 pace through miles 3-8. But it was mile 8 where the pain increased greatly. Although the weather was gorgeous, the west wind was quite strong at times. The course follows the coastline so the course would turn facing the west a few times. Never for a very long time, but it was in mile 8 when we turned into it for a slightly longer stretch, and I struggled. I had nothing on that wind. I've mentioned before that with this injury, I really can't run against a strong wind. I tried to push it, though, and I think that's why I was suddenly in more pain. I was thankful for the turn back to the south. Going off my memory, I think the wind was similar to 2015 when I ran a 2:11:11. It didn't bother me much then because I was completely healthy and in the best shape of my life. But now, any headwind just destroys me. But, honestly, I'd still call the wind at Sunday's race mild since we weren't running against it for the majority of the race. It was really just one stretch in mile 8 that affected me.

I started to really slow by this point. I was getting passed before, but it was in mile 9 that they really started coming. It didn't bother me, though. I was more worried about even finishing. I hit the 10 mile mark in 1:10:38. Richie Blake was there doing the timing and took the only photo I like from the race (the one above). He was sitting in a chair looking comfortable. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to stop running and just hang out there with Richie. The pain was getting worse and worse. I didn't want to be in pain, but I also didn't want to quit either! Not this time! I had to finish this one. So on I went.

The second half of the race was just sheer pain and thoughts of Boston running through my head. How can I finish Boston if I can barely finish this?! I think that's one of the reasons I kept going. To get the 20 in to prove to myself I could still make it to 20. The course was also so beautiful and I didn't want to miss the stretch along the wide open coastline. I saw two women taking a walk and wished I was just out for a nice walk instead of this painfest. Haha. My pace continued to slow at a rapid rate for the second half. My last mile under 8 minutes was mile 16. The last 4 jumped up into the 8s with my slowest mile being mile 19 at 8:24. 8:24 normally feels like an easy jog, but with the pain I was in, it was a huge struggle. I did come close to getting back under 8 for mile 20 with an 8:03, though. I remember actively making an attempt to speed up so I would break 2:30 (I didn't). I crossed the 20 mile mat in 2:28:38. I had just run the second 10 miles of the course exactly 18 minutes slower than the first!! Yikes. The last .2 miles I thought about the last time I was here. I was on a high. I was about to finish one of the best road races of my life. I was on my way up. Today, it was just about crossing the line. 2:30:39. 7:27 avg pace. Looking at 7:27 alone doesn't seem bad, but looking at the splits, you can see it's horrifying. Full Results

About to end the pain

Got a sunburn!

I was lucky to run into Jennifer Mortimer (who won!), Tammie Robie and Ernst Linder (my trail race buddy at the Trust Trailfest last year) at the finish. We shared the long and painful bus ride back to the school. Jen and Tammie are two women I've been lucky to get to know over the last 4 years. Both humble. Both having been through long, drawn-out issues. Both moms, which is huge to me in this running community where I find myself surrounded by the child-less. They get it. They've lived it. I'm really excited to see how Jennifer does at Boston, hopefully her first marathon finish! I'm excited for her after the setbacks she's been through.

Now, I have to focus on Tammie Robie. Seeing Tammie on Sunday is a huge reason for my being ok with Sunday's race and the reason I'm finally able to say goodbye to the past. I ran into Tammie pre-race. Tammie was an elite runner in her prime. She won the USATF-NE Grand Prix one year. She ran with the elite women at Boston 3 times! Then just before turning 40, the injury plague hit. And the hits just kept on coming. Every time she started coming back, another injury. Tammie is only 44, but after over 4 years of trying to get back to the past, she finally accepted this. I told her about my issues and how it's been ongoing for 2 years and how I'm just not what I was and how I'm trying to be ok with it. She told me that she had finally gotten to that place. She said it took awhile but that she had to remind herself of what she HAD done. She did all of THAT^^! What amazing trip and opportunity. She said she's finally ok with just running because she loves it. These were the words I needed to hear. It was a moment when it finally sunk in. Although my time as a faster runner was short-lived, I still did THAT! I was nominated for  2016 USATF-NE Female Athlete of the Year! I ran two sub-3 marathons! I've won more races than I could even count. I can be happy with that. So a huge thank you goes out to Tammie for being the voice I needed to hear at this point in my life.

So when I walked away from the race on Sunday, I wasn't disappointed. Ok, well disappointed that I was in so much pain! But I was ok with my race. I never looked at my place. I just didn't care. Would I love to have had the race I had in 2015? Of course! But that isn't me now. This body can't handle the pounding on the roads. I'm just not built for that and would honestly need constant care to continue it. Most people who compete at a higher level have a support system of coaches, teammates, PTs, massage therapists, health insurance for MRIs, x-rays, etc. I do feel like had I had access to just some of that it probably would have prevented where I am today, but I didn't. And won't anytime in the near future so I have to make a new plan. In lieu of quitting running, I'm ready to go back to where my body was its happiest and healthiest. The trails. The mountains. It's time to make that move back. That doesn't mean I won't do any road races. I said in the last post that I want to continue to do short distance road races and also do some speedwork on the track. But my training is going back to the trails for the most part. Who knows? Maybe this will be what heals me. I ran my fastest half marathon (1:22) without any road running. Not saying I'll ever do that again, but maybe going back to the trails will give me the healing and full body strength I need to be able to run another road marathon in the future. And maybe it won't. I have no plans right now for another road marathon after Boston. I scrapped Cape Cod (unless by some miracle I'm no longer in pain) and CIM from my calendar. And you know what? It felt good.

But, this now brings me to the Boston Marathon, less than 3 weeks away! I feel like it's nothing more than a road block to moving on with my plan. I just want to get past it at this point. I'll admit that I am sad about that. I was really looking forward to running it again. I love Boston! Now, I'm just filled with dread, and I just want to get it over with. I have no idea what to do, either! How do I run it? Should I just go out at an 8 minute pace and enjoy myself. Should I do the opposite and go out hard for as long as my body will allow it, then suffer through the last 2/3 of the race? Maybe. I really don't know. And I'm trying to figure out my plan between now and then. I'm on day 3 of zero running which was already planned. Tomorrow will be a trail run. I guess I'll just see how I feel. Maybe take a full week off. My fitness doesn't matter anymore anyway. I'm just going to play it by ear for now.

Running for the Week- 50.7 miles. 1,460ft of elevation gain. Definitely on the low side.

Monday, 3/18- Zero. Finished my last week of the LIIFT4 program. Today was chest/back. Got in 10 minutes of glutes.

Tuesday, 3/19- 9.2 miles. John was home sick so I scrapped my plan to go run Hurricane Mt Rd right from work and went home first. Ran later from home to the snowmobile trail at Coleman's. Only .3 miles on the road before I was on Corridor 19A. Followed that to 19N all the way to Tasker Hill Rd then came back. The trails were very chopped up but still really good conditions for running. 1:30:57. 944ft of gain.

Wednesday, 3/20- 3 miles. Knowing I was about to work a 34 was the only reason I was motivated enough to get up and run on the treadmill. 22:13. At work, I finished up LIIFT4 with Shoulders and Arms and did 10 minutes of glutes.

Thursday, 3/21- 5.8 miles. As I mentioned before, I was in a lot of hip pain by the end of my shift. When I used to work 34s regularly, my Thursday night runs were always challenging. I ran around both aviation neighborhoods. Quite a bit of snow and ice covering the roads, along with huge piles of sand, but I still ran a decent time. 42:38. 7:20 avg pace.

Friday, 3/22- 6 miles. Since it was snowing out all morning, I got on the treadmill. Ran between 1-3% elevation. 45:33. 7:35 avg pace. I had planned 8, but I was ready to stop at 6. Still didn't feel good. Hips really hurt. It was after this run that I rolled them out. It did wonders for the hips.

Saturday, 3/23- 4 miles. Opted for an easy treadmill run since I had ES20 the next day. 31:46. 7:56 avg pace.

Sunday, 3/24- 22.6 miles. 2 mile warm-up. I actually felt pretty good. Easy in 16:31. .5 miles to the start. Still felt pretty good. 20.1 on my watch for the race.

Hikes/Walks

Tuesday- John was feeling better after being in bed half the day, but he was still pretty tired so I left him at home to run my errands (haircut and groceries) and take Phoenix on a hike. I knew today would probably be my only day to get up a mountain this week so we hiked up Middle Mt. Had the entire hike to ourselves. It was great. I was happy to find the upper part of the Middle Mt trail packed down and the trail solid. Only 3.9 miles round trip. The sun was so nice at the summit that I took some time to lie in it before it got too cold and we walked back down.

Saturday- Took John and the dogs on a walk down Potter Rd. The road was in pretty good shape, and traffic is light this time of year while the winter closure section is still buried in snow. The sun felt great, but it was still quite chilly. We walked 2.4 miles in a little over an hour.

Photos and Stuff

John's school was (unnecessarily) cancelled (for the 9th unnecessary time) on Friday due to the snow so we went out in the afternoon to hit Frontside Grind and then walk to IME. I needed some gels for Sunday's race. I was a little bummed to see they only had Clif Shot Blocks and Clif Gels, but I figured the gels would be fine. The ingredients were no different than others I had. So I bought two of them. It wasn't until we got back to the car that I realized these gels were a life changer! Haha.

THEY HAD HANDLES!!! After being spoiled with the elite water tables over the last few years, every time I had to run as a commoner (total joke so don't get offended; I have to write disclaimers now) I had no idea how to carry my gels. At Manchester I put them in my bra only to getting chafing from hell. At both Baystates, I put them in a glove which was a pain in the ass. I was trying to figure out what to do at Boston. I hate waist belts, although I've worn them there. Now, I have my solution!! I tested them out at ES20 and they are definitely the way to go. I was told the design is for a specific fuel belt, but I don't care what they were designed for. For me, they're handles for my fingers. And I didn't really mind the taste either.

I had a coupon for Cedar's Hummus so I grabbed this one. The coupon ended up not registering via their automated system, and I missed it until I got home, but I would never have found the best hummus had not at least tried to use the coupon. So good.

Oh how I love beer, but it's that time of year where I have to cut back the beer and excess sugar for a bit. Cutting back doesn't mean no beer, but it means much less beer. I'm also cutting out the candy, cookies and other sweets. I'm not being as strict as I was in 2015 when nothing could even have sugar as an ingredient, but I'm definitely cutting out the excess, except one day a week which is what I did in 2015. I'll probably do this up until Boston. I'd like to be a little bit healthier for Boston than I was at ES20. I'm not really changing the rest of my diet at all, though. It's more about cutting back instead of going crazy as I prepared for a sub-3 marathon. We all know that's not happening at Boston! Haha.

My co-worker, Zach, brought is his new puppy to work on Thursday. She is SO cute but didn't stop wiggling for photos.

Dog and John photo time...

I thought her ears looked like Gizmo's.

He wouldn't put his other ear up.

Trying to get all of us in one shot. 

Phoenix looks evil.

In her comfort cave

So kind of a short post today. There really wasn't much to share past the race. Working overtime shifts always puts a damper on my fun. Haha. Work has been pretty quiet lately since it's the slow season. No real drama anymore since I'm almost always in North Conway now. We're just one crew here so it stays mostly drama-free.

Nervous about the weeks to come, but I'm looking forward to what's beyond that for the rest of the year.

2019 Thirsty Leprechaun 5K

Foulmouthed Tammany Stout

This photo is the post-race beer at the Thirsty Leprechaun 5K in South Portland on Saturday. The best part of this race was that it WASN'T the New Bedford Half Marathon. I can't tell you how relieved I was not to be racing New Bedford this year. I've run it the previous 4 years and it has been nothing but a beat down of disappointment every time. I've never had a good race there relevant to my current fitness level. I've left disappointed and thinking I'm a shitty runner every time. I hate it. I hate the course. I hate the wind. I hate the last 3 miles. That being said, it's one of the best organized races around and other people love it. But ugh, it's just not for me.

What I wrote in my 2015 recap:

"We hit the hill at mile 12. I actually started to feel better, but I was still getting passed. My pace was 6:49/mi for this one. Ouch. Finally, I hit the top of the hill and just picked it up to the finish. 18th woman in 1:23:25. I got through the finish and kept walking to my car since I was getting cold fast. I was thinking how disappointed I was in my race. I really thought I could do better than that, but it just wasn't how it played out. It's still my second fastest half marathon time, so it's not like it's horrible, but the disappointment was still there."

I would KILL for that time now, but at the time, I knew I was capable of running faster and had expected to run a PR. Instead I bonked at mile 10 and was extremely disappointed.

2015 

2016 recap: "I ran up to the start and had to weave through the entire crowd to get up to the elite women's corral. I didn't really belong here, but all of the people I knew were in it, so I hopped in. It was nice to be surrounded by so many familiar faces so we chatted up until the race started. At this point, I don't think I had quite accepted the fact that I was about to run a half marathon. I could not focus. The only goal I could come up with for this year was to hold back on the first mile; last year, I shot out and ran a ridiculous first mile. I wanted to take it easy off the line and just ignore all of the people passing me. I thought I had done this. I felt like I had and even believed I had until later that night when I realized I had read my watch wrong. I went out almost as fast as last year!! Why?! Ugh. I caught up with Jenn for the 2nd mile and proceeded to chat; chatting is not my forte, but, for some reason, I chatted way too much during this race. Jenn took off on the first hill, and I was happy to let her go. But no sooner than Jenn was gone, Kelsey Allen caught up to me, and we proceeded to chat for awhile. Upcoming race plans, my injury, etc. What was I doing?! It did slow me down for the 2nd and 3rd miles, but too much! Then, right at the 3rd mile, I felt it. My legs. Beat to shit. My quads were so fatigued. The 5K. I was feeling it! Such a stupid move!! I wasn't sure I could even run a sub-1:30 at this point, but I had people around me that pulled me along. I just followed."

Despite what I wrote, I actually wasn't too upset with this one. I fueled earlier and ended up running the last 3 miles faster than 2015. I was more upset that I had gone all out to race an 18:47 5K the day before that totally ruined my race. I wasn't happy with my time at all (once again; I would kill for that time now haha) and was just down on myself for my bad decision to race a 5K.

2016- terrible photo haha

2017 Recap (it just gets worse): "The ride home was tough for me because it was when I could finally reflect on my race. The first time I allowed myself to even think about it. It immediately brought me to tears. I had had such a bad race. And, yes, the wind affected everyone...but not the same. I was one of the ones who just couldn't handle it. I was so down about it the whole drive. Pissed about all of those people passing me. I felt like I just sucked so bad. I had two friends say the exact same thing to me; that I was being too hard on myself. They were probably right, but this one hit me really hard. To have it go from my goal race to a total shit show is like a punch in the gut from my own fist. I knew my time would be slower than I originally wanted, but by over 3.5 minutes?! The wind was a huge factor, but I think it was my inability to power against the wind due to lack of strength that made it so bad. So really, it was a rough day, but it's my own fault."

I ran a 1:28:09. It's funny because it WAS actually my high hamstring tendinopathy that was the cause for this. I mention it in my recap saying it definitely wasn't; the pain in the glutes had only started the week before and I still thought it was just some weird soreness. It was only over the next few weeks that I realized that this was an actual injury and that something was wrong. Two years later, this injury is still around and has pretty much ruined the speed I had. I still cannot run against the wind due to the power it takes to push against it. I want to console my 2017 self because it wasn't that I sucked. I was actually still pretty fast at this point. I was just embarking on the chronic injury journey that has caused my downfall.

I would end up changing up my training to mostly trails by May of 2017 which actually kept the injury at bay. I was able to have a good year for 2017 and early 2018 because of this. It did cause me to slow a bit, but I was ok with it. I still won over $3000 in prize money that year. I couldn't complain. Although the pain was constant, it was minimal...until the second week of March 2018.

 2017.You can see how unhappy I am.

2018 recap: "Once we started and I crossed the mat, the running began. I was happy with where I had started since I really didn't have to get around too many people. It was kind of the perfect spot. My pace felt pretty good, but I was a little surprised to see 6:20 on my watch. It felt faster than that. I thought that maybe the headwind was a factor or that maybe I was actually being smart...which isn't likely. Haha. A weird thing happened right at the beginning of mile 2 that I never felt the whole race. A very brief like muscle burning in both quads. It only lasted like 2 seconds, but it was that burning you get when your legs are fatigued. My quads definitely weren't fatigued so I don't really know what that was about, and it didn't happen again, but it kind of made me wonder if things weren't going to go right today. Well, it was confirmed when I saw my 2 mile split. I actually thought for a split second that my watch was broken. It couldn't be right. It just couldn't. I felt like I was running so much faster than 6:46. OMG. Ok. This wasn't going to go well. I knew it then. I had a little glimmer of hope I could pick it up after the hills in miles 3 and 4, but when I hit those hilly miles in 6:53 and 6:51, I knew any picking up of my pace was not going to be the pace I hoped for. So at this point I just accepted it. I really did. It just wasn't going to be my day. Every split was way off of feel. It was what it was. I let it go. I'm not sure why this was so easy for me to be accepting of it when I was blubbering a week ago over the snowshoe race, but it was. Maybe it's because I really don't like this race much. I don't know why. Something about it just doesn't appeal to me. Maybe it's partly the wind. I don't know. But I just stopped caring about how I was doing. I caught myself 3 times daydreaming, totally losing focus. My pace wasn't totally inconsistent, though. I just felt like I was out for a training run in a way even though I couldn't run faster. I just didn't feel like I was in a race."

1:28:45! Worse than the year before! 2018 was mostly just a blah race. I wasn't mentally into it, and my tendons hurt pretty bad, but I wrote in there that I felt like it was more just feeling drained which makes sense. My intestinal issue had started 3 weeks prior, and I didn't yet know that my extreme fatigue was because I was anemic. So I had a lot going on. I wasn't super upset with the 2018 race, but I wasn't happy with it either.

Hunched over. Totally different from 2015.

So needless to say, I was not upset to miss the 2019 race. I was so tired of feeling defeated there and needed the break. There are certain races I do every year because I love them. New Bedford I only did because it was USATF-NE Grand Prix race and to help out my team. I do feel somewhat badly about letting down the team, but I've pulled my weight for the last 3+ years and helped us win quite of bit of team prize money. Three straight years as an Iron Runner was enough for me. And considering my current condition and poor running shape, I picked a good year to skip it. I'm actually at the point where I don't know if I'll ever road race competitively again. I'm kind of over it. Maybe this will be temporary, though, since you never know.

So for 2019, I opted to go to a closer fun 5K. Much better decision...

Free beer and $100!

I signed up for the Thirsty Leprechaun a few days after that mile race on New Year's Day. I already knew I wasn't doing New Bedford, and I was sticking to it. I was originally going to go back to do the Marshfield St Patrick's Day 5K since it had been awhile, but when I saw this one, I signed right up. I didn't completely get away without some New Bedford tradition. The wind followed me! It was actually pretty strong. Not quite New Bedford 2017, but definitely up there.

I liked that this race was close and that we didn't have to leave the house until 7:15am. Since it was street parking only, I got there early enough to get the exact parking space I had picked out on Google Maps. Haha. Literally right across the street from the race HQ at the American Legion in South Portland. I checked in then took Chill with me for a run of the course. Once again, I was glad I did since I knew where the headwinds would be. As predicted, though, the wind was actually worse by race time. It was a nice run with Chill. Really pretty course that went out to Bug Light Park and then ran back via the bike path right on the water.

Just finishing the warm up back at the race HQ

I went back to the car to get ready to race. Despite the wind, it was actually pretty warm in the 40s so I decided to wear just a singlet and shorts. I brought fun St Patrick's Day socks for the race, but they wouldn't stay up on the warm up so I had to wear them that way for the race. There are zero photos of me (and most people) in the race so I don't get to see how stupid I looked with my socks like that. Haha. I tried at least!

We had 10 minutes to the start and I really needed to hit the bathroom one more time, but when I got across the street, the porta potty line was from one end of the lot to the other (they need way more porta potties next year). I decided to venture inside the American Legion in hopes of a shorter line. Man did I luck out to find the one-person bathroom completely unoccupied. Phew. Haha.

By the time I got back outside everyone was at the start line. I ran up towards the front but stopped a good distance back. There were definitely women there who looked faster than me. There were also quite a few I knew I would pass, but I was happy where I was starting. I'm finding it better to start back a bit so I can assess the situation ahead of time.

As soon as we started, it took about 4-5 seconds to cross the mat, but once I was free, I immediately started picking women off. The course had a short uphill followed by a long downhill, all with a very strong tailwind. Needless to say, I felt great here. I found myself 3rd female within about the first quarter of a mile and by the half mile passed the woman I had thought would be tough to beat. But I still wasn't in first. Instead, a girl wearing a green tutu and running with a dog was still ahead. She was actually super fast. The dog was pulling her a bit, but I can't say whether it was making her faster or not. All I know is that she kept increasing her lead.

After we hit mile 1 (5:55), the course took a left...right into a huge headwind. This didn't last long before we took a right into the tailwind again. I was surprised to find the 1st woman falling back here a bit. The course then veered left again right into that headwind and I found myself catching right up to her. As we turned for another right with tailwind, I passed her. I actually felt bad. I kind of wanted her to win since it would have been cool for girl wearing a tutu and with a dog to win. I actually said, "That's awesome," to her as I passed and smiled down at the dog.

We weren't in this tailwind long before going left again around Bug Light Park out in the open along the water. The headwind here was very close to 2017 NB, but like I said, not quite. I still felt like I was struggling to run against it. After getting around the open park, we hit the tailwind again for a short distance before turning into it around mile 1.8. We would be in this headwind the rest of the race EXCEPT the last .1 miles. Haha. I hit mile 2 in 6:16. A lot slower than mile 1, but the wind really made most of the difference with split times today.

The rest of the race would be on the bike path all the way to the finish. I had the lead at this point but had no idea how far back anyone was and I didn't want to do a look back. (I found out later that the dog ended up having to take a poo. I also found out that the girl was Haley Heinrich's sister, Hanne, whom I've actually raced against in the Mountain Series. So that was neat.) The guy I had run with almost through mile 2 had pushed on ahead with two other guys. One stayed close enough to me so I just focused on him to pull me along. I just hoped no other woman was about to pass me in the final stretch. I could feel myself slowing in the wind as we climbed a few gradual hills, but once we hit the final stretch and the trail curved to the left, it was wind-free and I ran it in to win 1st female overall. It definitely was not the time I wish I could have run. And my last mile was super slow in 6:46. Ouch. But it was under 20 minutes for 19:56. Sub-20 goal is the new me! Haha. (It actually pained me to write that 18:47 above in the 2016 NB recap.) I haven't run sub 19 since this tendon injury. My last sub-19 was January of 2017. Since then, it's been anywhere from 19:15 to 20:01. It's ok, though, I was just happy to pull off first female (8th overall)...even though it only ended up being by 10 seconds. I won $100 which was a huge score. I was able to buy John 3 books and us both lunch at the mall later. It's also paid for my haircut. There are zero race photos of the front of the field. Someone took some, but they weren't there before the front runners went through. Too bad Maine Running Photos wasn't there today. They're always great. Racewire was the timing company and didn't do finish line photos like they usually do. They also screwed up the results which weren't fixed for hours. Fortunately, though, they had all of the awards right and they did fix the results. Full Results

I took Phoenix out to use the bathroom then changed clothes. It was warm in the sun but windy so John wanted to stay in the car. I walked back over to find the beer line doubled over twice the length of the parking lot. Haha. Dammit. Should have grabbed a beer first.

This is actually the beer line...

 These are few people who had gotten a beer...

The beer was worth the wait since it was a good Irish Stout from Foulmouthed Brewing. While I was in there, Denise Curry of Dirigo introduced herself to me. I had noticed her at the start line and thought she looked really familiar. I didn't know her name, but I have seen her at quite a few races. She was really nice so we hung out and chatted. She invited me to join the Dirigo women for runs which I would love to take her up on. It's a group that intimidates me (Sheri Piers, Mary Pardi), but I feel like it would be the ideal group for me. Plus, one of my loose plans (I have 2-3) over the next 3-5 years is to, first, commute, and then eventually move to the Portland area so it would be nice to get to know some other good runners there. I already know a lot of the trail runners, but it would be great to find a road group, as well. Unfortunately, they do their group runs on weekends, but it's possible it could work out if I could bring John along and have a place for him to hang out. So we'll see how that goes. I'm hoping to stay in touch with Denise in the meantime.

Group of us at the finish. I'm second from the left. Denise is to the right of me. Photo by Allyn Genest

After the awards, I walked back to the car and we headed for the Maine Mall to get John some lunch. The place was the most crowded I'd ever seen it! Since I had just won some money, I asked John if he wanted to look through the manga books at Newbury Comics. They were buy 2 get 1 free so he got three and read the 1st one in its entirety before we got home. John got Johnny Rockets for lunch. I wasn't really hungry but decided to grab a vegetable and noodle bowl for less than $5 at the Japanese place. It was so much food!

If you can believe it, I didn't go to any breweries or buy any beer!! Probably a first during a trip to Portland. Just drove home then sat outside on the porch playing stick with the dogs and having another beer.

Fun race hats. And I didn't notice until later that I was wearing the shirt from my 5K PR. An Ras Mor 2016. 18:30. I couldn't imagine ever running a 5K that fast again. (Sorry for all the fast times nostalgia in this post.)

 Charms and Hexes. A perfect day for a sour.

Playing stick in the warm sun. 

So all in all, I was actually perfectly happy with my race. I did expect to run it faster than I did since I'm no longer having hamstring pain (I'll write about that later. I feel like I can actually run!) But the wind was definitely a factor in the last mile. I'm not in 5K shape anyway. This does make me want to work on it, though. In addition to staying on the trails for most of my training after Boston, I do plan to do track workouts once a week. It won't be enough time before the Westfield 5K in May, but maybe the June 5K I have planned will go better. I still love 5Ks. I have since I was a kid. That's one road race distance I won't ever give up, even if it's not my strength.

So, anyway, on with the boring stuff! Yay! So I planned a down week running-wise, and it turned out to be so needed, mentally and physically. With my deep tissue massage on Tuesday, I didn't have time for a long run anyway. I took zeros both Monday and Wednesday. Wednesday was planned since I wanted to give my legs time to rest and recuperate from the massage; they were pretty sore. I ran fairly low miles Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Sunday was a longer run, but at a very easy pace. Still ended up with 41.5 miles for the week. I actually only planned 30ish, but I felt good enough to run farther than expected on Sunday. Not one treadmill run!! Yay! Only one snowmobile trail run, but that was only due to the warmer weather making the snow a mess. The rest was on the road. Fairly decent elevation gain at 2,723ft.

With Eastern States 20 looming, I felt like this was a good plan for the week. The following week will also be mostly easy, shorter runs before race day. Although I'm not planning to "race" Eastern States, I would still like to go into it with legs that aren't fatigued. My goal for ES20 is really just a quick long run, something I would have scoffed at until recently. Do a race and not race it?! What's that about? But, first off, I'm not in the shape I was the last time I ran it in 2015. I went all out (I was still training for VCM 2015 at that point) and ran one of my best races ever, even called it an "A+ race for me" on my Strava. I could only dream of running that fast again. The course is slightly long. I had 20.1 miles. Others had 20.2. And that's not just GPS long. The course is actually stated as being long. Ran it in 2:11:11. Averaged 6:30/mi pace! Crazy! I have no idea how I did that that day. I just felt good I guess. The weather was also ideal. Plus it's is insanely flat. I only had 143ft of elevation gain on Strava for the whole race. At that time, flat was so easy for me. Now, however, long flat running hurts me the most. So I'm in that place now where I can step back and do a race as a training run, especially since I have no idea what to expect speed and pain wise. My tendons will fatigue in the late miles; that's a fact. How much? Beats me. I'd like to run in the low 7s, but I'm not holding myself to that. Ideally, I'd still hope for around 2:30. But I may not even be able to do that. So, really. No goals. The weather looks great right now, but that could change between now and then. I could wake up feeling tired or well-rested and ready. I'll admit I'm still a bit nervous since I don't know how it's going to go, but hopefully, I'll be happy with whatever happens.

A little more nostalgia for this post...

ES20 2015

Running for the Week

Monday, 3/11- Zero. Still got in my LIIFT4 weight lifting workout at work. Chest & Back. 39 minutes. And the usual 10 minute glute workout.

Tuesday, 3/12- 8 miles. I didn't have a lot of time since I had to get down to Dover by 12:30pm so I drove right to Hemlock Ln from work to run on Corridor 19. I was surprised to find trail conditions near perfect. Wore microspikes as usual. It wasn't too cold out either so it made for a really nice run. 1:17:59. 9:38 avg pace. 710ft of elevation gain.

Cool view from my run. Lenticular clouds are so neat.

Wednesday, 3/13- Zero. Planned it this way to let the legs recover. I skipped the glutes for this reason, as well. Still got in my LIIFT4 shoulders and arms workout at work. 34 minutes. Also walked 30 minutes around the ambulance bay in the evening.

Thursday, 3/14- 8 miles. Put this down as one of my best runs all winter. After my deep tissue massage, my legs were back! Well, not the tendons, but the hamstrings, glutes and calves! I was as much of a mess as I thought. The entirety of my hamstring muscles were covered in adhesions. It was why I couldn't move them. My glutes were actually worse. I told her when I walked in that it felt like my butt was in a forever isometric hold. The quads, the calves, the feet. Total mess! My entire body, really, since the back and neck also needed work. 90 minutes and she didn't even finish. 45 minutes alone on my hamstrings and cupping in addition to working them out. I walked out of there feeling like I had new legs...ok, minus the old high hamstring tendons. But wow. Such a difference. I booked another appointment already for 2 weeks out from Boston.

So in honor of one of my typical runs the winter of 2015 (have I mentioned this was when I was fast? Haha. Sorry), I decided to test it out on Haley Town Rd in Fryeburg. Did my 8 mile out-and-back just like old times. I always liked this run because it was hilly but not the LONG hills I typically run on. I went out a little gung ho but the first 1.5 miles are all uphill so it slowed me down enough. However, this would be maybe one of only two runs I've been able to run at a sub-8 pace for the first mile (7:39, after looking later). Before, the tightness and stiffness would take so long to loosen up enough just to run barely under 8 minute pace. And I'm talking outside runs here, not treadmill runs. I didn't look at any splits since I had auto lap turned off. I just wanted to run by feel. I couldn't believe it felt so good to run again. I knew there would be two sub-7 miles in there with downhills, but the hilly miles would keep most of it in the 7s. I never once did this run over 6:45 avg pace in 2015, but I knew that wasn't in the cards today. I was putting in a hard effort with this run and thought I'd end up with close to a 7:25 avg pace. I would have been disappointed in this because I felt faster. To my surprise, I ran the 8 miles in 57:22 averaging 7:09 pace! I was ecstatic! Getting down to that pace seemed impossible for the last 2.5 months. Yay!! 294ft of elevation gain.

So anyway, this run made me super happy which was a good thing after getting back to the parking lot to find this... Haha.

That's not a space, dude. I couldn't even open my door all the way. 

I will say that my tendons were very sore after this. In fact, they're still really sore, but to be honest, I don't think it's worse than before. I think I'm just feeling them more now without the distracting pain of the hamstrings which was worse. As much as I would love to run pain-free again, I'll take what I can get right now.

Friday, 3/15- 5.6 miles. I planned this as a slow, easy run, but I'll be honest that I didn't feel like I had on Thursday. Averaging 8:12 pace felt much harder than it should have. 46:03 for the run. Probably good that I ran short with the race the next day.

Saturday, 3/16- 6.3 miles. Aforementioned Thirsty Leprechaun 5k. 3.2 miles with Chill. 3.1 mile race. I'm back to giving cool downs the middle finger.

Sunday, 3/17- 13.3 miles. I had originally planned 12 easy miles, but for some reason I felt compelled to run the half marathon distance since I was missing New Bedford. I had a feeling I would only make it to 8, though. This is the same run I've been doing from home through Cranmore Shores, up Tasker Hill and turning around at the top of Allard Hill. Every time, I've planned to run the 12, but by the time I would get to 4 miles, I was shuffling and hurting so badly that I turned around. While today was a planned slow run without looking at my watch, I had hope that my "new" legs would get me to 13.1. And, sure enough, they did. At mile 4, I wanted to go on. At mile 6, I wanted to run up Rockhouse Mt Rd. When I got into my neighborhood, instead of going left to head home, I felt like continuing on to the top of the neighborhood (adding on another 150-ish ft of gain) before coming back down to finish at my driveway with 13.3 miles. 1:49:03. 8:10 avg pace. 1,252ft of elevation. Although not fast at all, I felt good on this run. Huge yay.

Hikes/Skiing/Walks for the Week

I got out a little bit more this week than I have been, but I'm still looking forward to doing more once the snow melts.

Tuesday, 3/12- I only had time for a short 1 mile walk with the dogs since the massage took up so much time with driving. Ran into 2 guys starting their run on the snowmobile trail which was now mush compared to my run in the morning. I still wonder how far they made it before turning around.

Thursday, 3/14- With uphill skiing over for the season (for me), I can finally get back to hiking/long walks on Thursdays (except for when I pick up overtime shifts). I was so excited to hike with Phoenix again! I've missed our long hikes and walks. Thursday wasn't super warm so I banked on the trail up Mt Kearsarge North being solidly packed, and it was for the most part. The last mile was starting to get rough from boots. No postholes or anything, just regular steps. The snow was also super sticky up there so my microspikes became useless as the snow balled up under them. I finally took them off. Since I carried snowshoes up just in case I decided to put them on for the descent just to smooth it out a bit. I love running downhill on snowshoes still so I couldn't resist and ran about half of the way down. Downhill doesn't hurt my tendons so it was fun. Nothing too exciting really. We had the summit to ourselves which was nice. 5.9 miles. I didn't speed hike this one. Just took it easy and enjoyed it. We spent about 3 hours out there.

Friday, 3/15- The day started with pouring rain and turned into a gorgeous 55 degrees by the afternoon. I was psyched I had allowed enough time to take the dogs skiing before picking up John. I parked off of Frost Heave Hell Rd (113A) in Tamworth with the intention of skiing the groomed snowmobile trail but lucked out to find trail 220 ungroomed. That is so much more fun on backcountry skis so we followed that out for as long as I had time for. It was awesome skiing, and the dogs were loving it. I couldn't get over the beautiful weather. Longing for consistent temps above 50!
3.3 miles total in just over an hour.

Saturday, 3/16- I had planned a walk at Willard Beach in South Portland after the race, but the wind had actually gotten worse, and I had no desire to walk in it. A trail walk would have been nice when we got home, but with the warm temps, it would have been posthole city. Trying to think of a place to walk on pavement took awhile until I thought of the high school! We only walked one loop around it, but it felt so nice to walk on pavement. Seriously, we've been living in ice/snow land up here for 5 months!! I haven't seen the ground in my yard since October. So this felt nice to walk on ice/snow free pavement.

Sunday, 3/17- A wee bit chilly walk up Hurricane Mt Rd since John enjoyed playing around so much. I couldn't stay warm. I had to totally laugh to see that he hasn't changed since this Facebrook memory of him lying face down in the snow on a walk in 2012 popped up last week. Our walk went like this....

We turned around at the mile point. 2 miles in 1.5 hours. Hahaha. I didn't mind. Getting him outside where he's enjoying himself with a little exercise thrown in there is all I'm aiming for at this point. And plus, it gives us a chance to just talk since now that he's 13, he's started shutting his bedroom door. Haha. I do still like to mess around and bother him, though. :)

Random Stuff

John's school did these video interviews with the kids. I love John's video SO much. I've watched it over and over so many times. I love his animation, and I can still see his baby face! I couldn't save it, but here's the link to it on the school Facebook page. The Community School video.

Speaking of his school, John's elective this semester is cooking so he brought home a glass jar of freshly made meatballs. When he got in the car, he said, "I have some Rammy meatballs." Um, Rammy was the ram at the farm. Made it a bit hard to eat the meatballs since they had a name, but damn are they good. Haha. They do raise some of the animals for food there which I think is cool, but putting the animal's name with it almost makes me want to become a vegetarian. Haha.

John in class on the far right.

Oh so I need to plug something! I try to support causes when I can and didn't hesitate to order a t-shirt in support of the US Mountain Running Team as soon as Peter Maskimow shared the link. A little on the pricey side, but it felt like a worthy cause. You can order yours from Allie HERE.

My job is so ghetto, but I like to keep my food classy...

Monday's dinner at work

7.5 years of wear and tear...They won't buy us new ones. Looks SO professional, doesn't it?

 She misses me when I'm gone for my 24 hour shifts so she insisted on sitting in my lap.

I learned the hard way that the fast-charging cell chargers are actually too much voltage for Petzl headlamp batteries. Totally fried it. By the way, Petzl customer service was amazing. Just some dude who works there got back to me right away. We had a back and forth all day long. Very positive experience. Ordered a new battery from Moosejaw since it was cheaper. Excited to find a love note on the box from Eddie when it arrived!

All I could think of was, "Oh, Eddie..."

(In case you didn't know, Courtney from that commercial is actually real. She has a pretty cool blog (hasn't been updated in awhile) and Instagram page with photos from her travels.)

Sunrise while driving into Conway Village on my way to work Wednesday morning.

It was like a Wild West standoff between Phoenix and Leibling when I picked John up at school on Tuesday. Can't you hear the music in your head right now?

Chill Dog

 Good beer from Woodland Farms Brewery in Maine. Loved the label.

Big Effin' Porter

I'm looking to buy another car in the next month. This came up in my Facebook memories this week. This was my car brand new on the lot after our test drive. John and I were so excited. And my first official BRAND NEW car ever. Too bad the car I'm looking to buy now is the same year as this one, but with less than half the miles, at least. I've loved this car, but it's been way too small for our travels with stuff and the dogs. Plus, I'm really tired of driving a standard. The Kia Soul will be saved for John's first car in 3 years.

Couch snuggles with Phoenix...

In general, I had a good week. Although, I'll admit that I actually didn't feel good after writing last week's blog post. I thought I felt awful before that, but for some reason, I actually felt worse after writing it. It wasn't a hard thing to do, and I felt it was the right thing to do. But I guess I just started thinking about how I'd been in the dark about the whole thing for so long. Kills me that I couldn't do something about it sooner. Now all the hits on those blogs posts make sense. I just can't believe no one said anything. No hate messages or anything. Kind of surprises me. I would have preferred the nastiest, meanest email/comment over being "out of the loop". I've had time to think more about it, though, and have just let it be. I think I did the best I could to make it right. There's nothing more I can do. I won't beat this like a dead horse. Live and learn. Move on.

And speaking of moving on...goodbye winter! Spring just arrived! I'm so ready!! And this song is amazingly perfect...